Campbell Catering presents A Very Java City Experience

ballooba

Enter the big green automatic doors of DIT Aungier St, hang left down the narrow corridor, ignore the loud SU types with their faux D4 accents and you will witness one of only two queues visible from space, the other of course being the queue to kick Pat Kenny in the goullies. You may notice the knowing glance passed betweens those returning over the horizon clutching their colourful paper cups like UN rice bags in Rwanda and the sorry strung out mess in the queue. To the naiive it may seem that these people know each other, the reality however is that these knowing glances are an unspoken bond of a shared experience, the 'Have-Coffees' seem to say to the 'Want-Coffees', 'Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel I know what you're going through'.

When entering the queue half way down the hall to the main lobby you always wonders if you should have brought and overnight bag. It stretches as far as the eye can see with people checking their watches wondering if they'll be on time for their next lecture. Those further up have ceased this practice, they no longer care about their education they only remember coming here for coffee and if they have gery hair by the time they get it they don't care.

A clever masseuse could make a killing here on the various cramps and spasms experienced by the addicts after their fix. By the time you reach the counter you will probably have fallen asleep several times if queueing alone or have run out of conversation material with you queue buddy. This will probably lead to frequent and prolonged periods of awkward silence and later never speaking to each other again. This is the black hole of friendships, childhood friendships overcome by such anymosity that even a few rounds on Jerry Springer couldn't cure.

As the large elevated menu comes into view you are greeted by not only a newfound sense of hope but also a whole new lingo which can be daunting for the uninitiated. Mocha, Latte, Tuxedo, Short, Tall and if your a greedy bastard Grande. The mind races with contemplations of all these exotic tinctures with their tantalising descriptions. The hardcore addicts are already frothing at the mouth tasting the sweet caffeine on their brains. You can see the Java virgins with the panic in their eyes, by the time they reach the counter they'll barely be able to stutter the words 'Large Filter Coffee Please', the poor souls.

Should you have a bit of time on your hands you may opt to go the long haul and order one of these fantabulous concoctions of the menu. Little point however in ordering anything exotic as in the time it takes to turn around and pickup some sugar, a lid and one of those handy collarthings one of the Oompa Loompas indigenous to Aungier St will have pilfered your skinny double mocha mint frappuchino leaving you with the close relative of the bog standard filter coffee the Tall Latte.

All credit to Java City and it's watery, burnt and often pungent coffee it has completely changed the face of our college in the short time that it's been here.The familiar giddy freshers in their O' Neills trackies have been replaced by micro mini wearing slightly hungover second and third years out of their brains on caffeine twitching around the new lobby. We don't look twice when most ungainly and eccentric of our lecturers arrives on the scene brandishing a paper cup of trendy espresso beverage. Most importantly Java City we thank you for blocking out the overwhelming stench of oompa loompa brand perfume with that familiar Java City smell that for your first year on campus was unfairly blamed on the ground floor jacks.

Mr Campbell sir we salute you!

Makaveli

meh, Java City sucks.

Repli

They do nice hot chocolate, but that is all, the regular coffee tastes like water although the machiatos are decent enough

roxy

Heh, I like it Ballooba!

You should throw that up in the direction of the DIT Indo, snuggled away on the fourth floor. If you need a contact, gimme a shout. (Though as soon as I wrote that I realised that you're probably a member of SU staff and so need no introduction to the paper! But that's just me being presumptious.)