what do i do with this??

cajun_tiger

life just keeps throwing out little surpirses at me....

now i live at home with both my parents and my daughter aged 4 and a half.

she's in both primary school and an aftercare play school...

during the x-mas break she was in for full days in the day care which i thought would be great for her. certain kids had left to go to school and came back for this week(no big school for them), my daughter had a lot of friends who left for big school and was full of talk on tuesday when they had come back.

now for the problem... thursday came and i had to work late so my mam picked her up for me... i get home to tears. had been on the phone earlier and things were great..

what had happened was, my mam was reading with her on the table and my dad was cooking dinner when my little darling hops down and grabs his bits really hard and laught about it..

now this really upset my dad simply because of what happened and the shock.. my mam then talks to her tells her that this isn't to be done ect ect.

then the tears start and she tells my mam of how david showed her his willy and let her touch it then asked to see her's. she didn't know it was wrong... now my mam didn't who david was she couldn't think of anyone of that name.. i get a 100 q's and when asked who david is the only one i can think of is a friend from school which my daughter would know but hasn't seen in years.. so i take my little one up stairs and get out a box of photos and ask her to show me who david is..

and she lost it and tryed to tell me that he was from little school, (which to say the least was a relief)

now my problem is she has started to grab at any chance any body male or females bits upper and lower,just this week. i'm worried about how to aproach this with my daughter as in i don't want her to be ashamed or made feel bad about body parts... and also i'm now worried about the supervision of her day care.. how this happened with out notice..??

anyone out there thats gone through this?
my mam and me are at a loss...

jinxycat

hi, well i never experienced this situation as i've no kids but i'm studying childcare and have come across how to deal with inappropriate behaviour. simply explain to your child that she's hurting people by grabbing them and it's making them upset and ask her would she like to be made upset by others. if she says no then explain that if she doesn't like been upset by others then she shouldn't make them upset as they'll feel sad like she does. this may have to be done everytime she goes to grab someone. as for her care surroundings quite simply things can go unnoticed as there's alot of children to be catered for, perhaps explain the situation to the person caring for your daughter and then they'll be able to look into it in more detail and help to solve the problem.

hope this helps.

also as your daughter finds it funny to grab other people it might help to ignore the situation than she'll notice it's not making anyine else laugh and will probably get bored of doing it but always remember to praise any good behaviour as this will be more exciting for her and will continue to do better things

cajun_tiger

well thats my moto and usualy works ignore the bad and praise the good..spoke to the day care today and just "informed" them of what i knew had happened.. the lady that i spoke to was quite concerned since this sort of behavour is at all cost avoided....

my daughter has now stoped asking and grabbing but in all fairness this has only been since yesterday... fingers crossed

jinxycat

ah good, well at least she didn't do it today. hope she keeps it up. best of luck

shelly04

Ah jesus..the education system in ireland needs looking into imo :rolleyes: , seriously though you did the right thing talking to teacher so s/he can explian to the little boy that you cant be at that in school/playgroup.

jinxycat

tbh it's an english course. believe it or not it does work, i didn't believe it until i tried it in practice.

cajun_tiger

ok just to say that since it happened it hasn't since, the boys and girls are being watched a bit more carefully(like me the minders and teachers didn't expect this till a later date.)
now it seems that it was two boys in on wanting to see a girls bits(the two asked most of the group, een older girls from the other group) both boys have no sisters, but have older brothers who are of the pull up skirts age. its thought that the two younger ones seen the older brothers behavour and monkey see monkey do. no one was in trouble, but a conversation of whats good behavour was, was talked about.

lets hope things stay good.. for everyone