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2 Gems

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  • 26-05-2000 10:35am
    #1
    Jak
    Registered Users Posts: 1,643 ✭✭✭



    Two men are working on a Building site in Dublin. Paddy & Mick. Anyway Paddy turns to Mick & says "I've gotta take a leak, but
    there's no where to go"

    "Walk out to the end of that plank" reply's Mick "I'll stand on this end & balance you" "Are You sure Mick ?"
    "Yes, no worries"
    "100 % ?"
    "Yes !"
    So out goes Paddy to take a leak & the lunch siren sounds, Mick forgets what he's supposed to be doing & steps off the plank
    &
    Paddy is a goner.

    Several days later an Australian, a Frenchman & a bloke from Dublin are sitting in a Bar discussing which of their
    respective nations chase women the hardest...
    Wazza the Aussie says "Mate I've been known to miss a **** up session down the Pub with me mates trying to crack on to
    Sheila's!"

    The Frenchman says "No, No, No, Ve French chase ze women with much zest & give them gifts of love like French champagne
    to win their affection, it is us vor sure"
    Meanwhile the Irishman sits laughing & says "No, You blokes are both wrong, the other day I was walking past a Building site
    in Dublin following these 2 gorgeous looking Birds, and this bloke came plummeting from the sky with his knob in his hand
    screaming...

    "CUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTT"


    And one More

    Original Message
    From: Tobin, Ken
    Sent: Thursday, May 25, 2000 5:55 PM
    To: Bergin, Cathal; Cannon, Barry; Dunne, Ross; Garry, Patrick; Glynn,
    Hazel; Hughes, Tricia; Killeen, Garrett; MacKay, Andrew; Mahoney, Peter;
    Marrey, Robert; Marriott Catering; McKenzie, Gary; Moore, Simon; O'Leary,
    Colin; O'Mahony, Neil; Sheerin, Barry; Timmons, Andrea
    Subject: FW: 10 things you'll never hear a woman say


    10 things you'll never hear a woman say

    1) I'm bored. Let's shave my fanny!

    2) Shouldn't you be down the pub with your mates?

    3) That was a great fart! Do another one!

    4) I've decided to stop wearing clothes in the house.

    5) You're so sexy with a hangover.

    6) I'd rather go and play Tomb Raider than go shopping.

    7) Let's start subscribing to Penthouse.

    8) Would you like to see a video of me going down on my friend?

    9) I'll swallow it all... I love the taste.

    10) Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

    JAK.



Comments

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    #2
    Lucutus
    Registered Users Posts: 2,831 ✭✭✭Lucutus


    rofl, that first joke is the best I've heard/read in ages, excellent Jak!

    biggrin.gif
    Lucutus of Borg


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    #3
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    LOVE IT!!! biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

    Both really good jokes man - keep 'em coming!


    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    My page of stuff


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    #4
    Ruaidhri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,719 ✭✭✭Ruaidhri


    10) Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

    hehe classic :D


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    #5
    Qualm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 142 ✭✭Qualm


    10 things you'll never hear a woman say

    Feh, ive said at least two of those! :P :)


  • Options
    #6
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    sarcastic comments don't count...
    class jokes tho':)


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    #7
    phreak
    Registered Users Posts: 3,216 ✭✭✭phreak


    Originally posted by Qualm


    Feh, ive said at least two of those! :P :)

    and which 2 were they??


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    #8
    cujimmy
    Registered Users Posts: 519 ✭✭✭cujimmy


    Pure Quality


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