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Bad joke alert

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  • 06-06-2000 4:12pm
    #1
    Hobbes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭



    There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten
    different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
    Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.


Comments

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    #2
    TwoShedsJackson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,438 ✭✭✭TwoShedsJackson


    Christ.


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    #3
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    I really should delete that for everyone's sanity - it's worse than the Penguin jokes!
    wink.gif

    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    My page of stuff


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    #4
    Mills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭Mills


    Oh dear
    That provoked a rather large groan of disapproval smile.gif
    I am inflatible !


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    #5
    Hobbes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    and I have 1000's of em!
    A man was walking home alone late one night when
    he hears a...

    BUMP...

    BUMP...

    BUMP... behind him.

    Walking faster he looks back, and makes
    out the image of an upright coffin banging its
    way down the middle of the street towards him

    ... BUMP...

    ...BUMP...

    ...BUMP...

    Terrified, the man begins to run towards his
    home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...

    faster...

    faster...

    BUMP...

    BUMP...

    BUMP.

    He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,
    opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the
    door behind him.

    However, the coffin crashes through his door,
    with the lid of the coffin clapping ...

    clappity-BUMP...

    clappity-BUMP...

    clappity-BUMP...
    on the heels of the terrified man.

    Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man
    locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head
    is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

    With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the
    door. Bumping and clapping towards him.

    The man screams and reaches for
    something, anything ... but all
    he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

    Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at it
    ...
    .. the coffin stops.


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    #6
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    ahh simon, classic stuff.
    kep em coming!


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    #7
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    Oh my good Good SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!


    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    My page of stuff


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    #8
    Manach
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 9,703 Mod ✭✭✭✭Manach


    Is it a case of letting the pun-ishment fit the rhyme?


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    #9
    plastic membrane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,219 ✭✭✭plastic membrane


    Why hasnt Kharn strung u all up by your intestines by now ? You know, unwitty plays on certain words are illegal in some countries.

    Whats yellow and black and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you ?

    a JCB

    ..ahem..


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    #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    LMAO !!!
    Thats fu(kin brilliant...
    It's about a society in freefall....


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    #11
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    BOLD!!!

    Time for the intestines to come out as the boy Plastic Membrane suggested!

    BTW - When you coming up to the big schmoke for a visit Eamon? Donal's away on holliers, so you won't have to face him smile.gif


    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    My page of stuff


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    #12
    plastic membrane
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,219 ✭✭✭plastic membrane


    Hey, im a close personal friend of that boyo !
    Speaking of Big shmokes, there was certain amounts of that last night. oh yes...beef.


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    #13
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    You fuppin' baxtard!

    Was Puunack the Receiver on the scene?


    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    My page of stuff


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    #14
    Trojan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,413 ✭✭✭✭Trojan


    Is that the Q chap there then?

    Alo.

    🎙️ The Recognized Authority Podcast



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    #15
    Take it
    Closed Accounts Posts: 631 ✭✭✭Take it


    ROFLMFAO


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    #16
    Dave
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,922 ✭✭✭Dave


    biggrin.gif

    roflolmao

    biggrin.gif

    oh mercy


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