Quite funny!

Spalk0

Manchester United put on a a stunning display today in a
> behind-closed-doors rematch ordered by the FA after Tuesdays debacle at
> Old Trafford.
>
> The Super Reds went ahead just before the kick-off when Giggs was sent
> away down the left wing.
>
> His cross was handled on the half way line by a Spurs defender and a
> penalty was awarded for this cynical foul. Paul Scholes stepped up to slot
> the ball home for United's 33rd penalty of the season. It was no more than
> United deserved.
>
> The 15th minute saw the Super-Smashing Reds go two up after Michael
> Carrick was penalised for coughing just outside the area. Christiano
> Ronaldo's resultant free kick was slightly miss-hit, but even if the
> keeper was not being pinned to the floor by Roy Keane, he would not have
> saved it. 2-0. It was no more than United deserved.
>
> The 21st minute saw more trouble for Spurs when Erik Edman was sent-off
> for enquiring about the referee's Man United shirt. However two minutes
> after the interval Spurs struck back after an amazing piece of good
> fortune. The referee's assistant could only parry Pedro Mendes' shot and
> Robbie Keane thumped the ball home. Confusion reigned for 10 minutes as
> the entire Manchester United squad surrounded the referee, arguing that
> the referee's assistant had been fouled 15 minutes earlier. The referee
> grudgingly had to give the goal even though he racked his brain for a
> reason to disallow it.
>
> Alex Ferguson was furious and rushed down from his seat in the stand to
> the dugout, knocking over a number of blind, disabled, pensioners in
> wheel-chairs on the way down. Fortunately, things settled down again as
> Paul Scholes took a long-range shot, which deflected off the corner flag
> but had clearly crossed the line, 3-1. It was no more than United
> deserved.
>
>
> Just after the restart, un-sportsmanlike Nourredine Naybet was dismissed
> for making ridiculous claims for a penalty after Roy Keane had nearly
> decapitated Robbie Keane. The referee and his assistant missed the
> incident as they were both asking Ryan Giggs for his autograph, but
> replays showed that Keane's flying kung-fu kick, followed by a forearm
> smash was clearly unintentional.
>
> Ten minutes later Ferguson took off Giggs and replaced him with Alan
> Smith, Eric Djemba Djemba and the suspended Wayne Rooney. Wonderful,
> wonderful Man United's 4th came shortly after. Robbie Keane was caught
> offside just outside the Spurs penalty area and Rooneys free-kick
> thundered in after deflecting off the underside of the flood lights. It
> was no more than United deserved.
>
> The super, marvel, wonder Reds kept the pressure on until the bitter end.
> In the 98th minute Ledley King conceded a free kick just outside his own
> area for blatantly glancing at the referee. Ronaldo stepped up and
> proceeded to chip the ball right into the referee's path and he made no
> mistake from 10 yards. Goal number 5 and it was no more than United
> deserved.
>
> Scholes slotted home number 6 from the penalty spot after Gardner went
> down with a broken leg. Fortunately Roy Keane was nearby when it happened
> and, after running 50 yards, he was able to bring the incident to the
> referee's attention. Unfazed by Gardner's cynical tactics, protruding bone
> and spraying blood, the referee sent him off for diving (and time wasting)
> and awarded United the penalty. Scholes cheekily chipped the ball over the
> keeper and the crossbar, but the referee decided that it was a goal,
> because based on past records, Scholes rarely missed.
>
> When the final whistle went after 33 minutes of injury time, Spurs
> traipsed off with their heads low, having been taught a footballing lesson
> by what is by far the greatest team the World has ever seen. As the losers
> hit the showers, a superb flowing movement by United culminated with a
> fine diving header by Alex Ferguson and it was 7-1. However the referee
> decided that it was such a good goal, it should count double.
>
> 8-1 then - and it was no more than United deserved.

hehe

p.pete

Can you pick out the funny bits for me?

d22ontour

33 penalties so far that's a bit over the top maybe if it was april it would be more realistic

BKtje

enjoyed that tbh

woosaysdan

it got a giggle

mayordenis

scarily accurate

joe.

Why is there always united bashing on this forum???

jank

Thanx 4 The Fish

bmarley wrote:

Why is there always united bashing on this forum???

For the same reason that somebody posted a pictue about Morientes being dead. Neither are funny but some peoples idea of football banter is different from others. Rivalry is going to occur, as long as people do not go over the top then that is okay, some people are sailing very close to the wind and I can envisage some bannings before the end of the United pool game this weekend.

Does that answer your question ? Or are your red tinted goggles blinding you to the bashing of other clubs that goes on here.

joe.

Thanx 4 The Fish wrote:

For the same reason that somebody posted a pictue about Morientes being dead. Neither are funny but some peoples idea of football banter is different from others. Rivalry is going to occur, as long as people do not go over the top then that is okay, some people are sailing very close to the wind and I can envisage some bannings before the end of the United pool game this weekend.

Does that answer your question ? Or are your red tinted goggles blinding you to the bashing of other clubs that goes on here.

Yes. Yes they are

therecklessone

Its a rehash of an old theme, and not really that funny.

But its banter, and banter is good. Now if it were abusive I'd say hang him, but its not, so how's about the ManYoo fans who have a pain in their arse with the constant slagging either:

1. Ignore it.
2. Come up with something funnier in reply.

?

Spalk0

bmarley wrote:

Why is there always united bashing on this forum???

Chill out ay!

Im a United fan and i posted the damn thing!Doesnt mean i dont got a sense of humour!

Chong

Could find one thing funny in that post.

Big Ears

I found it funny .

JackKelly

lol

Poor Man U....and Poor Spurs

Flukey

The initial post is a more modern version of this, which goes back a few years, as you will see with some of the players names:




A sneak preview of next season:
MANCHESTER UNITED 7 ARSENAL 1

Manchester United's march towards the Premiership title continued today after a stunning display at Old Trafford. United went ahead right from the kick-off as Giggs' through-ball sent the linesman away down the right wing - his cross was handled outside the box by Tony Adams. The referee determined to stamp his authority on the game immediately red carded Adams and awarded Utd a penalty. Yorke duly converted his 65th penalty of the season at the second attempt. (The Ref having booked Seaman for saving the first effort).

It was no more than Utd deserved.

The 15th minute saw the Super Reds go two up after Lee Dixon was penalised for coughing just outside the area. David Beckham's free kick flew into the top right corner at the seventh attempt - referee insisting the wall was not back 15 yards.

It was no more than Utd deserved.

The 21st minute saw more trouble for Arsenal, when Bergkamp was sent-off for enquiring about the referee's Red scarf and hat. Two minutes before the interval Arsenal struck back after an amazing piece of good fortune, Kanu hitting home the rebound after a shot had been stopped on the line by the referee. Man U could scarcely believe their bad luck. Alex Ferguson threw down his programme and wouldn't talk to anyone for ten minutes.

The restart saw Parlour booked for unsportsmanlike behaviour - making ridiculous claims for a penalty after Roy Keane had accidentally beaten up Emmanuel Petit on the 6 yard line, breaking both of his legs. The referee had missed the incident due to the red scarf blowing in his eyes. Ten minutes later Ferguson took off David Beckham and replaced him with three other players.
Man Utd's third came after Overmars had been caught offside in his own penalty area. Dennis Irwin took the free-kick, which was deflected to the back of the Arsenal net. The referee claimed the final touch.

It was no more than Utd deserved.

Super-marvel-wonder-Reds goal number four came after ninety-eight minutes after Martin Keown conceded a penalty for inquiring why the ref was playing so much stoppage time. Yorke missed the penalty but the referee decided that it should count because based on past records, Yorke rarely missed. Besides, the striker promised to invite the ref to one of his famous parties.

So 4-1 at full time, but the referee agreed to call it 7-1 after Ferguson threatened to cry and withhold the Referee's and linesmens bonuses if he didn't.

It was no more than Utd deserved.

PHB

Alex Ferguson was furious and rushed down from his seat in the stand to
> the dugout, knocking over a number of blind, disabled, pensioners in
> wheel-chairs on the way down

Make me giggle quite a bit, however the original was as always funnier