World Records you won't have heard of

Pretence · 15-06-2000 2:03pm #1

MODERATOR WARNING
The following, while quite funny, is in very poor taste. Reader discression is advised.

-

-

-

> >>>> MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED > >>>>
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los
Angeles in July 1991.
> >>>> LONGEST PUBES > >>>>
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28
inches from her vagina.
>>>> MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH > >>>>
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert
a lubricated American football into her vagina.

> >>>> ZITS > >>>>
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and
projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.

>>>> WORST DRINK > >>>>
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is
Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and
consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull
semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

> >>>> MOST OFFENSIVE ****TAIL > >>>>
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato
juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of
lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon(unused) instead of a
****tail umbrella and is known as a '**** Pump'.

>>>> GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN > >>>>
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal
fluid. Healso hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the
greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

>>>> LONGEST TURD > >>>>
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced
a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially
measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his
state.

>>>> MOST PROLONGED FART > >>>>
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially
recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.

[This message has been edited by Kharn (edited 15-06-2000).]

Shiminay · 15-06-2000 4:18pm

Funny, but I hope you don't mind the edit...

All the best,

Dav
@B^)
My page of stuff

SantaHoe · 15-06-2000 8:01pm

Well holy gawd!
How does one manage to make a 12-foot logger of poo?
ugh, and even the thought of drinking 1.7 pints of semen is enough to make you sick.

Oh, is there a link to the rest of that?