YAEJ

Trojan

(Yet another England joke - or rather, yet more...)

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.

Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea- bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.

Q: What's the difference between a packet of sellotape and Phil Neville.
A: One's a glueless kit.

Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2000 commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box. Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman in a Brussels nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by the English FA: Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I find it totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a successful pass to or at anyone." More news to follow later.

Q. What is the main function of the England coach?
A: To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the England version of a hat-trick?
A: Conceding three goals in fifteen minutes

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by the England midfielders?
A: The walk back to the dressing room.

Q. What do Shearer and drug addicts have in common??
A: Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "England are good enough to win Euro 2000. Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Q: How does Beckham change a light bulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.

A man desperate at England's current situation decides to top himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full England kit as his last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Jersey and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused, asks why. The policeman simply replies, "It's to avoid embarrassing your family."

Shiminay

heeheehee

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All the best,

Dav
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Lump

HA HA,

John