Please check out this song i wrote, tell me if its good

footballbuc99

I wrote this song, it doent have a name yet, just tell me if its any good...

I'm a sparkin stick of dynamite
Gimme ten seconds, i'm in a fight
Sometimes my days just seem insane
thoughts of madness just fill my brain
but when im with you baby i feel set free
just what about you could it be?

Country girl lovin always seemed so wrong
'til i heard you sing your song
an' now you always seem so sad
you know where I am when you're feel'n so bad

The preist says my lifes a mess
the doctor says to lose some stress
favorite teacher thinks my lifes a waste
other mutha******* just hit my face
hit them back, but I still feel the same
baby you're the only one who can keep me tame

Country girl lovin always seemed so wrong
'til i heard you sing your song
an' now you always seem so sad
you know where I am when you're feel'n so bad

I feel a poundin from the vain in my head
my eyes are burnin an' they're turnin red
I never know what to think
is it pain or salvation i seek?
whats the feelin that consumes me so?
where are the anwsers to the questions i dont know?
I guess life will always be unknown
but thats just fine, as long as you're my own
I just wanna spend some time with you
i just wanna breath, your, air....

Doctor J

Great riff in the verse and I really like the guitar solo, were you playing that on a Les Paul by any chance? :rolleyes:

davej

Seems like a bit of a rip off of an AC/DC track.

davej

Zombienosh

davej wrote:

Seems like a bit of a rip off of an AC/DC track.

davej

after i read the first two lines (the only two lines i read) i thought to myself ACDC!!!!

yup anyways

cuz im TNT dun dun dun dun im dynamite!!
:cool:

Mr. CooL ICE

Doctor J wrote:

Great riff in the verse and I really like the guitar solo, were you playing that on a Les Paul by any chance? :rolleyes:

Maybe, but I'd say it was played with something with EMG 81s. But the drumming is fantastic, a nice dose prog rock-ish, jazzy, mathcore-like simplicity.

But I've stolen those lyrics for my own use. Muhahahaha!

I am MAN

Sounds more like a rap song.

I hate black music.

Jonny Arson

I wrote this song a few minutes ago, what do you guys think?

My Lovely Horse


My Lovely Horse
Running through the..field
Where are you going
With your fetlocks blowing in the...wind

I want to shower you with sugar lumps
And ride you over...fences
I want to polish your hooves
And bring you to the horse...dentist

My lovely horse
You're a pony no more
Running around
With a man on your back
Like a train in the...night
Like a train in the...night

meditraitor

footballbuc99 wrote:

I wrote this song, it doent have a name yet, just tell me if its any good...

I'm a sparkin stick of dynamite
Gimme ten seconds, i'm in a fight
Sometimes my days just seem insane
thoughts of madness just fill my brain
but when im with you baby i feel set free
just what about you could it be?

Country girl lovin always seemed so wrong
'til i heard you sing your song
an' now you always seem so sad
you know where I am when you're feel'n so bad

The preist says my lifes a mess
the doctor says to lose some stress
favorite teacher thinks my lifes a waste
other mutha******* just hit my face
hit them back, but I still feel the same
baby you're the only one who can keep me tame

Country girl lovin always seemed so wrong
'til i heard you sing your song
an' now you always seem so sad
you know where I am when you're feel'n so bad

I feel a poundin from the vain in my head
my eyes are burnin an' they're turnin red
I never know what to think
is it pain or salvation i seek?
whats the feelin that consumes me so?
where are the anwsers to the questions i dont know?
I guess life will always be unknown
but thats just fine, as long as you're my own
I just wanna spend some time with you
i just wanna breath, your, air....

To the sound of summer loving, Olivia newton john .
I smell a hit,

BolBill

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

I wrote this song a few minutes ago, what do you guys think?

My Lovely Horse


My Lovely Horse
Running through the..field
Where are you going
With your fetlocks blowing in the...wind

I want to shower you with sugar lumps
And ride you over...fences
I want to polish your hooves
And bring you to the horse...dentist

My lovely horse
You're a pony no more
Running around
With a man on your back
Like a train in the...night
Like a train in the...night

Sounds familar. and theres no "no" in that line from QOTSA