Letters to the editor

The Brigadier

COULD the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
> > patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Abu Hamsa?
> > Les Barnsley, Barnsley
> >
> >
> > 'ONE pound a week will supply water for an entire village in
> > Tanzania', says Oxfam. So how come United Utilities charge me twenty

> > pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b * stards.
> > Tracey Cusick, Cumbria
> >
> >
> > HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his
> > multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used
> > it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once
> > again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor.
> > Reg Ashcroft, Bradford
> >
> >
> > So HMV consider Andy Williams and Dean Martin to be "easy listening"

> > do they?
> > Try telling that to my mate Andy. He's been deaf for 20 years. Tim
> >
> >
> > They say "you can't judge a book by its cover". What nonsense. The
> > last edition of High School Anal that I bought featured a young lady

> > stuffing a big one up her bomb-bay on the front page, and this
> > turned out to be an excellent indication of the contents.
> > Mark Roberts
> >
> >
> > According to Nietzsche, 'That which does not kill me makes me
> > stronger'. I'm sure my grandad would not agree. He suffered a series

> > of massive strokes in the early '90s which have left him an
> > incontinent vegetable for the past 12 years.
> > A Thorne, Sandbach
> >
> >
> > IT'S uncanny how some of these old sayings are true.
> > 'Absence makes the heart
> > grow fonder', said my wife as she waved goodbye to me on the way to
> > spend a month with her mother. Since then I have grown quite fond of

> > my next door neighbour. I actually gave her one on the living room
> > carpet this morning.
> > Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
> >
> >
> > The recent suicide of Harold Shipman has thrown up some interesting
> > questions.
> > For a start, does Shipman killing himself take his official tally up

> > to 216, or does it count as an own goal? Where does this final score

> > place our national champ in the world league table?
> > Magnus, Sheffield
> >
> >
> > I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that
> > Britain's prison population has been ballooning for the past ten
> > years. My God, has the world gone mad? Those people are there to be
> > punished, not to be given 'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that
> > most law abiding citizens can only dream of.
> > Mrs Close, Headingley
> >
> >
> >
> > The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
> > Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
> > just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't
> > told the poor sods?
> > John Campbell, e-mail
> >
> >
> > Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey.
> > What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering
> > on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once.
> > Genius.
> > Mike Woods, e-mail
> >
> >
> > With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
> > soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers
> > include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw
> > *at quickly enough the last time he played hide and seek with them.
> > Shuggie, Email
> >
> >
> > It's all very well Meg Ryan getting her kit off for her new film,
> > but why wasn't she doing it twenty years ago before her puppies hit
> > the pan?
> > Alan Pick, Kingston-upon-Toast
> >
> >
> > I would like to thank Darren of Chelsea for not coming to Australia
> > with Jenny.
> > She is a great sh * g. Thanks again.
> > Baz, Bondi
> >
> >
> > Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection
> > with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo
> > Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account
> > their splendid sense of humour.
> > Chris Scaife, Jesmond
> >
> >
> > Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
> > Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
> > climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they
> > should get some faster cars.
> > T Barnham, London

BolBill

Class !!!!!!!

Blub2k4

ya cant beat the Viz letters page.