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anyone got any good jokes? postem 'ere!

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  • 04-07-2000 4:13pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 83 ✭✭


    hey buddy
    I need a little cheerin' up here. Can u help me out here I'm havin' a bad day. I got into work this mornin' and my boss was runnin' around naked ****in' all over the office! Then everyone attacked me and started biting me and cursing and pinching me. Then after lunch they kicked me and told me I was a sissy and Oh no! not the hot poker!! Yaaaahhh!!!


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,621 ✭✭✭GreenHell


    got to the humour section


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 127 ✭✭Noel Brady


    Here's one from a recent e-mail I got...

    A young man graduated from University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism.
    >> >>>
    >> >>> His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to
    write a
    >> human
    >> >>> interest story. Being from Arkansas, he went back to the
    country to do
    >> >>his
    >> >>> research. He went to an old farmer's house way back in the
    hills,
    >> >>> introduced
    >> >>> himself to the farmer and proceeded to explain to him why he
    was
    >> there.
    >> >>> The
    >> >>> young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that
    made you
    >> >>> happy?"
    >> >>>
    >> >>> The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one
    of my
    >> >>> neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. We
    all
    >> screwed
    >> >>> it
    >> >>> and took it
    >> >>> back home."
    >> >>>
    >> >>> "I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think
    of
    >> anything
    >> >>> else that happened that made you or a lot of other people
    happy?"
    >> >>>
    >> >>> After another moment, the farmer said, "Yeah, one time my
    neighbor's
    >> >>> daughter, a good looking girl, got lost. We formed a big
    posse that
    >> time
    >> >>> and
    >> >>> found her.
    >> >>> After we all screwed her, we took her back home."
    >> >>>
    >> >>> Again, the young man said "I can't print that either.
    >> >>>
    >> >>> Has anything ever happened around here that made you sad?"
    >> >>>
    >> >>> The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed and
    after a few
    >> >>> seconds looked up timidly at the young man and said, "I got
    lost
    >> once."

    Noel Brady www.game-ireland.com


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,373 ✭✭✭Executive Steve


    whats better than winning the special olympics?
    having two legs.

    how do you give a woman multiple orgasms?
    who cares?

    why do women fake orgasms?
    they think we care.

    what did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall?
    damn. [dam - damn geddit?]

    a girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre.
    the bartender gives her one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭NakedBibleReadingMan


    if u want humour visit www.funny-network.com i hate name dropping but u'll like it, promise wink.gif all done by irish and scotsmen!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,274 ✭✭✭Monty - the one and only


    Ahh this reminds me of when I moderated the original humor boards.....But unfortunatly that position now belongs to Kharn. Ah well hes doin a good job of it.....

    Any way thats where you'll find this topic, in the humor boards

    "Respect my Authoratai"

    www.firstones.com
    www.nethousecafes.com


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 83 ✭✭Hoojah Nickabolokov


    hey

    I just finished writing a new book. It's called: "The Man with Three Testicles". His name is Ivan Extrabolok. boom boom!

    I should do stand-up

    h nickabolokov


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭Bard


    Originally posted by Hoojah Nickabolokov:
    ...I should do stand-up

    What?... Like 'stand-up in front of a firing squad for telling such a sh|te joke' kind of stand-up?... Off ya go wink.gif


    Bard

    |home page|scary éire

    [This message has been edited by Bard (edited 08-07-2000).]


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41 Mark_The_Whale


    I think he meant stand-up comedy Bard.

    But still the end result would be idenical. Almost. But probably messier. I'd love to be at that show. Ain't seen a man roasting on a spit for years.

    Mark the Whale. AKA Xavius the Whale.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭Bard


    Originally posted by Mark_The_Whale:
    I think he meant stand-up comedy Bard.
    ...

    Yes. I know. tongue.gif
    I was takin' the p|ss smile.gif

    Bard

    |home page|scary éire

    [This message has been edited by Bard (edited 09-07-2000).]


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