Bad Day anyone?

Monty - the one and only

---

If you think you're having a bad day, enjoy
This one is actually supposed to be true...
At a Christmas party in Melbourne last year the staff decided to pull a joke on their boss who had a habit of playing serious practical jokes on everyone else.
When he went to the toilet they went through his wallet and found his Tatts Lotto ticket. Then they wrote down his numbers and called over the waitress to set up a
little prank. She came back half an hour later and asked
if anyone wanted to know the night's Lotto numbers, then proceeded to read them out (you can guess that he had
picked the lot - including the supplementary!), and left
the numbers on the table. The boss looked at the numbers, then casually pulled out his wallet and compared them. He became really silent, put his wallet back in his jacket and sat down again breathing
really rapidly, and looking totally blown away.
After a couple of minutes he pulled out his wallet and Lotto ticket, and checked the numbers again very carefully. Then he sculled his drink, stood up on his
chair and shouted out to the whole room,
"I just want to let you all know something. I've been having an affair with my secretary for months. I don't like any of you, and I have hated working for this
company. You can all go to Hell, 'cos I've just won a sh!t-load of money, and I'm leaving...!"

End of job. End of marriage. End of story.

STILL THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY? THINK AGAIN.
The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was
racing the engine on the motorcycle, and somehow, the motorcycle
slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars,
was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the
motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife,
hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband
laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to
him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone
and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large
hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the
street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived medics assessed the victim with no
life threatening injuries, but went on and transported the husband
to the hospital. To secure the house the wife uprighted the
motorcycle, and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the
wife quickly grabbed some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and
threw the towels in the toilet where they wouldn't ignite. The husband was
treated at the hospital, and was released to come home with his
wife.

After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the
damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, lit a cigarette then
went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. After finishing the
cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found
her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown
away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of
his legs and his groin. The wife ran to the phone and again called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was
dispatched, and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began
carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street, accompanied by the wife, one of the
paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing
so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining flight of steps breaking his arm.

Now THAT is a bad day...

LegacyUser

LOL , classic

Blade

Actually on the subject of the first one there, I did that myself to a girl that worked for me at the time and who was always playing jokes on myself and my brother, she had left her lotto ticket in work and rang me up to ask me what numbers she had on the ticket, so because I had the real numbers that came out (I pretented I didn't of course) I read out the first 2 lines as she had them but on the third line I read out casually just one of her numbers but 5 of the ones that actually came out so she started screaming down the phone with joy and I was like 'what? ye right' Course she didn't tell me to stuff my job as it was only about 500 quid

Blade

Lenny

ahh those jokes got me in a good mood
did you type all that out monty?
or copy it off a site?

Monty - the one and only

I copied it off an e-mail

ThunderingMike

LOL! You guys aint got **** on this : A little boy gets a kitten off his mother one day. He is playing with the kitten and it scratchs his face. He goes to his mother she puts some savlon and a bandage on the wound. The little boy goes in search of the kitten. He sees the kitten climb into some drawers that have been put on a glass table while their are being cleaned. The boy climbs up onto the table and reachs in for the kitten. The table falls through and the little boy lands on his head , with several drawers on top of him and tiny pieces of glass stuck in every part of his body. Also , some glass has gotten into the cut on his cheek. A shard of glass, two foot long and razor sharp, is hanging very delicately above the boys elbow. The kitten runs off and is not seen again. The little boy goes to hospital for two days and when he gets home, learns his kitten has run away.

True story. Actually the cuts healed fairly fast but I could swear that kitten was smilling at me as the table cracked

---

So the pope puts down the Badger and leans over to me and says , 'At TFC my son , I 0wnz j00'. Before I could speak in walks Dustin Hoffman in a giant Silk Worm costume and just then...it started to get weird...

Lump

LOL at all of the stories.


John