Got these from work

[IAR]Recon

Four Dogs

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a civil servant.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square, do your stuff.”
T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen biscuits. He divided then into 4 equal piles of 3 biscuits each.

Everyone agreed that was good. But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge took out half a litre of milk, got a 700ml glass from the cupboard and poured out 500ml without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive. Then the three men turned to the civil servant and said, “What can your dog do?” The civil servant called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the biscuits, drank the milk, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. They all agreed, that was ****ing brilliant.

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Ireland Damn Fine Place


Me come to Ireland poor and broke
Go down dole see labour bloke,
Fill in form and stand around,
Kind man give me plenty pound,
Me thank him much then he say,
You come next week get more pay,
Me write letter to Pakistan,
Tell all friends come quick as can,
All is nicely settled down,
Nice big house in Dublin town,
Twenty families living up,
Twice as many living down,
More in garden in a tent,
Social welfare pay the rent,
Six months later big bank roll,
Go down labour draw the dole,
Wife wants glasses teeth and pills,
All is free get no bills,
Me think Ireland damn fine place,
Much too nice for white mans race,
God bless white man big and small,
He pay tax me **** all,
If you don’t like coloured man,
Plenty room in Pakistan.

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hope u like them. They were being pasted around my work on Friday