Some things they left out of the dictionary...

richindub2 · 12-10-2000 7:33pm #1

lol, good one

[BSE]Telgere · 12-10-2000 8:01pm

v sweet

DaBounca · 12-10-2000 8:19pm

lol

Lump · 12-10-2000 10:53pm

LOL, Niceand true

John

jesus · 13-10-2000 12:12am

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's bonnet.
male : The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

LESBIAN (lez-bee-an) n.
female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male : A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male : Playing cricket without a box.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male : A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.

COMMUNICATION (ko-muu-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male : Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend
with the lads.

BUM (bum) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes
look bigger.
male : The organ for mooning (and farting).

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male : Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male : Sex

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male : An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male
bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male : What women do while the man is shagging.

Male Dictionary

"I'M GOING FISHING."
Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by
a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING."
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and
you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH.", "SURE, HONEY.", OR "YES, DEAR."
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a
bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the
first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of
every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death
before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am
hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't
spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could
be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."