Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

dumb lawers

Options
  • 29-10-2000 5:38pm
    #1
    stu_69
    Registered Users Posts: 568 ✭✭✭


    From the Salt Lake Tribune:

    "Lawyers typically aren't funny -- unless by accident.
    Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were
    taken from official court records nationwide...

    1. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person
    dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes
    quietly away and doesn't know anything about it
    until the next morning?

    2. Q: What heppened then?
    A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because
    you can identify me.'
    Q: Did he kill you?

    3. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

    4. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

    5. Were you alone or by yourself?

    6. How long have you been a French Canadian?

    7. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

    8. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize
    that picture.
    A: That's me.
    Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

    9. Were you present in court this morning when you were
    sworn in?

    10. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
    terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    11. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
    A: I'll be three months on November 8.
    Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was
    August 8?
    A: Yes.
    Q: What were you doing at that time?

    12. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally
    stable?
    A: I used to be.
    Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

    13. So you were gone until you returned?

    14. Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there girls?

    15. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what
    it looked like, but can you describe it?

    16. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

    17. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of
    unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself
    and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next
    question."

    18. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you
    examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose
    Chapel?
    A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about
    8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that
    correct?
    A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the
    table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!




Advertisement