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Manifesto of the Surrealist Republican Party- this is brilliant :P

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  • 12-11-2000 2:31pm
    #1
    Wyverne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 890 ✭✭✭


    This week's featured item highlights a shadowy body called the
    Surrealist
    Republican Party who have a new posting on the internet. It reads:

    "We of the surrealist republican party demand the unconditional
    surrender
    of Her Majesty's government and the incorporation of the United Kingdom
    into the Irish Republic. Failure to comply with this demand will result
    in
    the
    following punitive measures:
    1. We will continue to make you look stupid by winning all the Nobel
    Prizes for Literature ahead of your hopefuls while using your own daft
    language.
    2. We will continue to allow Boyzone to release records and ensure
    through a craftily organized buying campaign they are at number one for
    at least four months a year. Remember - we have the Corrs in reserve.
    3. We will collectively continue to support Manchester United and
    provide
    them with players of the calibre of Roy Keane. With our famous luck
    allied to that talent, it will be a chilly day in hell before anyone
    else
    gets a
    look in - though we may let Liverpool win once or twice, for old times'
    sake.
    4. We will continue to send good-looking lads and lasses to the UK
    to marry your sons and daughters. Since anyone with an Irish
    grandparent
    is an Irish citizen, by our calculations the UK will be Irish within
    two
    more
    generations at current rates. This is what we call 'the long plan'.
    5. We will continue to be more charming than you lot, ensuring that
    everyone in the world loves us and despises you.
    6. We will keep coming to London and taking all the good jobs.
    7. And if all else fails, we'll send in Big Tom to do a UK-wide tour,
    packaged with Red Hurley, Margo & Daniel O'Donnell.

    Truly a weapon of mass destruction.

    Manifesto of the Surrealist Republican Party."


Comments

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    #2
    Doc
    Registered Users Posts: 2,670 ✭✭✭Doc


    It was posted a coupel of weeks ago.

    But its still funny smile.gif


  • Options
    #3
    Panda
    Registered Users Posts: 2,621 ✭✭✭Panda


    Nicely done! biggrin.gif


  • Options
    #4
    Bard
    Registered Users Posts: 12,309 ✭✭✭✭Bard


    2. We will continue to allow Boyzone to release records and ensure through a craftily organized buying campaign they are at number one for at least four months a year. Remember - we have the Corrs in reserve.

    According to the Evening Herald, Boyzone are (finally) splitting up soon. They say it's absolutely definitely definite this time wink.gif and quoted Louis Walsh in the article. Apparently Walsh and Keating and co. believe the group have run their course and are going to step aside and let Westlife off to frolic fancifully in fame's pastures (not their exact words I'm sure ... but you get the picture). Ronan and squeaky gay bloke (Stephen, is it?) are going to attempt to pursue their own solo careers, and two of the others are going to take some journalist up on a dare and release a version of Milli Vanilli's "Girl you know it's true".

    bard2.gif


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