A few jokes

--Kaiser--

******************************************************************************************An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of
students.Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class:

"There are two things you need to succeed in medical forensics. First, you
must have no fear."

Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's ass and licked it.

"Now you must do the same," he told the class.

After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.

"Second," the professor continued, "You must have an acute sense of
observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my "middle"
finger up this corpse's ass, but licked my "index" finger?"

******************************************************************************************

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer
sitting
together in a carriage in a train going through
Provence.
Suddenly
the
train went through a tunnel and as it was an old
style train,
there

were
no
lights
in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then
there was a kissing
noise
and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the
tunnel,
Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as
if nothing
had
and
the Frenchman had his hand against his face as he
had been
slapped
there.
The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must
have kissed
Claudia
Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella
must have
tried
to
kiss
me
and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped
for it.'
And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The
next time
the
train
goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing
noise and slap
that
French
******* again.'

UNIFLU

Kaiser

Loving the professor joke, first rate.