An article to lift the hearts of Irish People everyehere.

replytohere2004

From Sir A.J.F. O'Reillys' journal.


Oh my Gawd... these snobs aren't nobs

As the Celtic Tiger runs amok, it seems you don't need to be posh to have airs and graces. Angela Phelan reports

It was one of Dublin's finest nights. A number of international VIPs had flown in for a mega-fundraiser and every detail had been taken care of to guarantee a perfect evening to remember. As the great and the good sipped their DP, with the ladies mostly decked out in couture gowns with ever so tasteful antique jewels, there was little to suggest the bitter battle that had been fought over that same charity evening a few weeks earlier.

One of the super-divas on the organising committee had nonchalantly given notice that she would be arranging to have her own china, crystal, silver cutlery and wine for her table. "And I'd also like a little extra space around the table. After all, we have three VIPs among our guests . . . we believe they deserve the best and would be embarrassed if they had the same as everyone else," she stated.

The fact that "everyone else" had also paid €10,000 for a table and, in several cases, had far more important guests seemed totally lost on her. The look of total bewilderment on the faces of the businessmen committee members said it all. Snobbery in Dublin had reached Bonfire of the Vanities proportions.

"I'm so surprised to see her losing the plot so quickly," remarked one. "After all, despite her new millions, it's a long way from her own china and crystal she was reared."

While snobbery was always endemic in certain sections of Irish society, in the last 10 years it has become almost a new art form. As long as you realise that there is just one currency and everything equals money, then you are on the right track.

Long gone are the days of simple stories like "my son the engineer is drowning". The 2005 version is more likely to be "my son the engineer with his Harvard/Stanford MBA and his 2005 Masserati with all the extras is drowning" a la Mrs Bouquet from the BBC comedy Keeping Up Appearances. For today's billionaires that other old chestnut, "come in for your rasher and two eggs", is more likely to be a summons for bonding over black truffle risotto and sauteed turbot washed down with Cristal Rose bubbles.

It recently emerged that Ireland is now the third richest country in the world and that we have also overtaken Americans in the wealth stakes. So it comes as little surprise to hear a leading medical professor complain about the appalling level of snobbery that abounds throughout the 'new' Ireland.

It was most interesting that it was one of the country's top professionals who made the comment as these days, possibly with the exception of law, most professionals are in the ha'penny place with the new big money people.

Time was when there was a handful of self-made millionaires - the serious snobbery back then occurred between the professions. Medical consultants barely acknowledged GPs, let alone nurses or "other minions" as one well-known specialist put it. Academics largely lived in their own ivory towers while senior bank officials had their own dining rooms and clubs. In many parts of the country the snobbery of the local parish priest's housekeeper, let alone the man himself, was not especially Christian. And, of course, there was the odd Anglo-Irish family, as poor as church mice but with beautiful manners.

The old school tie was the most important item in many a man's wardrobe. Intellectual snobbery was a badge to be worn with pride, as was reverse snobbery, which saw impeccably bred individuals from Montenotte or Ballsbridge speaking like denizens from much less salubrious postal codes.

The Celtic Tiger has rewritten all the rules, especially when it comes to snobbery. Remember all the flack Michael Smurfit used to get for having his own wine at dinner? These days Dr Smurfit looks like an aristocrat compared to some of the wealthier billionaires, many of whom have limited vocabularies but can parrot the price of anything from a new G5, a villa in Antibe or Cap Ferrat, Grey Goose Vodka, Louis Treize cognac, a Mercedes Maybach or a Bentley Continental.

While more than ever we have become a country of haves and have-nots, those who've got it know just how and where to flaunt it. Rule number one is to always be segregated from anyone other than PLU (people like us). Private boxes at race meetings; private dining rooms in the better hotels and restaurants; private cinemas; jets, helicopters and yachts; and designated hairdressing salons at home. All ensure that the great unwashed are kept well at bay.

A major dilemma for one D4 matron was whether her husband's driver should get a cup of tea in the kitchen while he waited for his boss or whether he should just wait outside in the car. "You really don't want these people in your home," she whined.

Another young woman from south Dublin, who years earlier had been an air hostess, warned her eastern European housekeeper to "never make eye contact with me or speak to me until you are spoken to".

With babies now the ultimate accessory, snobbery begins literally at birth. Unfortunately, most Dublin obstetricians insist on delivery in one of the three teaching hospitals, where a private room can't be guaranteed. The only solution is to stay no more than 24 hours in hospital and then book into a suite in a five-star hotel with private nurse, nanny and personal trainer.

Once upon a time, one nanny per family was deemed acceptable. These days two or three Filipinas per household is the rule. "The baby has started babbling and no one has a clue what she's saying. We suspect she's speaking fluent Filipino," said a multimillionaire builder laughing, himself quite challenged by the Queen's English.

At birth, babies are booked into the best private kindergartens, which guarantees a place in the best private junior and secondary schools and, with a bit of luck and loads of daddy's loot, this should see Jnr fast-tracked all the way to a top Ivy League.

Once upon a time, one went on holidays to relax and de-stress. In the Celtic Tiger's kingdom, where you go, where you stay, how you get there and what you do when you get there can all be soooooo very stressful.

Take Marbella, once a sleepy fishing village now dominated by Irish millionaires. There are those who would die rather than admit their des res is not on the Golden Mile. These are also likely the people who consider anywhere east of Marbella 'the North Side'. Then if you fancy a round of golf, it had better be in Las Brisas, La Zagaleta or Valderrama.

Your yacht must either have a prime berth in Puerto Banus, be anchored off Puente Romano or, better still, just like the King of Saudi Arabia, be too big to sail into any of those.

So you want to go out for dinner and head to the ever-popular MC Cafe. Several well-known Irish businessmen request "Mr Magnier's table". The Master of Coolmore gets total respect in the legendary playground of the rich and famous.

"I mean you couldn't go to Barbados and not stay in Sandy Lane, even if it is two-and-a-half grand a night and you haven't a hope of getting the best loungers on the beach," moaned one girlette into her cep mousse recently.

"We went to Mauritius - but we won't be going again. You won't believe who turned up in the hotel. We spent evenings talking to people we wouldn't give the time of day to at home. I mean you couldn't blank them, no matter how much you wanted to. Just who do these people think they are anyway," bleated one woman.

In fairness that same woman has worked hard to make something of herself, not to mention her husband. Some years ago, she had hired an elocution teacher for both of them and had a man come to their home once a week to impart the intricacies of what goes with which knife and fork and to demystify basic good manners. He also gave them a reading list as well as a 'dummy's guide' to opera, literature, Paris and Florence, which enabled them to lord it over their own less well-informed VBFs.

A top interior decorator made sure their home wasn't too glitzy, something she still isn't totally sure about herself. He also drew up a list of the better schools for the sons of PLU, ideally Eton, Harrow or Ampleforth; failing entry to any of those, Glenstal Abbey or St Columba's would do - at least you can bring your pony there.

They all agree Ireland is a great little country as long as one doesn't have to spend too much time here. It's so important to travel, to experience other cultures and to become that bit cosmopolitan.

Talking of culture, I'm just dying for a Cosmo myself!

Sleepy

It's amazing to think that such a different world exists in our own country. I wonder what these people think of the Ross O' Carroll-Kelly books?

landser

what paper is this from??

replytohere2004

Irish Independent(features)today, I'd have put a link but you have to sign in. theres another bit at the end which gives list of places where these "people" go to school, shop, ect. Would make you sick. I think its time to trim the heard!

Gonzorex

Thats the most sickening thing I've seen for a while. Are they in f*cking footballers wives or what? tacky f*cking reprobates. If I had the money I'd pay their plastic surgeons to make them look like various famous paedo's

DapperGent

If it's from the Indo I'd bet half of it is made up. Especially the quotes.

[Jackass]

Im from "D4", and i fu<kin hate the snobby people around here (we're not all snobs), but the funny thing is most of the women snobs (who are worse) are just muck savages from the back arse of nowhere, who happend to be hot when they were young, and were gold diggers who married the first man they could find who inherited daddys business...the way they talk now you'd swear they had plumbs in their mouth all their life...no doubt when they arrived in Dublin they had a thick country accent, but now they are snooty b!tches! Its pathetic though in fairness....i guarentee their sh!t stinks!!!

Blub2k4

DubGuy22 wrote:

Im from "D4", and i fu<kin hate the snobby people around here (we're not all snobs), but the funny thing is most of the women snobs (who are worse) are just muck savages from the back arse of nowhere, who happend to be hot when they were young, and were gold diggers who married the first man they could find who inherited daddys business...the way they talk now you'd swear they had plumbs in their mouth all their life...no doubt when they arrived in Dublin they had a thick country accent, but now they are snooty b!tches! Its pathetic though in fairness....i guarentee their sh!t stinks!!!

Yeah gimme a born D4 snob anyday, who do they think they are with their thick country accents!!!!!

dahamsta

http://www.unison.ie/irish_independent/stories.php3?ca=45&si=1330696&issue_id=12020

[Jackass]

Blub2k4 wrote:

Yeah gimme a born D4 snob anyday, who do they think they are with their thick country accents!!!!!

LOL!!!

You're missing my point completely....it's all fake, put on bull$hit.....
Half of them are muck savages.......now that they're rich they think they're better than everyone else........for example talking about "her husbands driver""...."you don't want these people in your home"

OfflerCrocGod

It's probably a bit over done just for a bit of humour I wouldn't take it so seriously.

Imposter

Take it down a few notches (not too many) and you've got a large percentage of the Irish population.

Gonzorex

Imposter wrote:

Take it down a few notches (not too many) and you've got a large percentage of the Irish population.

damn right. Take it down just one notch and you've got Gerry Ryan . . .

Nermal

i am snobbish in that i think anyone who reads the independent is a complete pleb.

either buy a paper with actual news in it or content yourself with the sun. you probably have some menial task to get back to anyway, pikey.

StupidLikeAFox

DubGuy22 wrote:

LOL!!!

You're missing my point completely....it's all fake, put on bull$hit.....
Half of them are muck savages.......now that they're rich they think they're better than everyone else........for example talking about "her husbands driver""...."you don't want these people in your home"

Wierd, you find these people so unbearable, yet you use the term ''muck savage'', which many people outside of Dublin would find offensive.

Hypocrite

i am snobbish in that i think anyone who reads the independent is a complete pleb.

either buy a paper with actual news in it or content yourself with the sun. you probably have some menial task to get back to anyway, pikey

Way to generalise and stereotype mate

Nermal

ColHol wrote:

Way to generalise and stereotype mate

don't feel bad, it could be worse. you could read the daily mail.

StupidLikeAFox

oh dont get me wrong! i dont actually read the independant, well buy it anyway.

Gonzorex

Nermal wrote:

i am snobbish in that i think anyone who reads the independent is a complete pleb.

either buy a paper with actual news in it or content yourself with the sun. you probably have some menial task to get back to anyway, pikey.

You more of a Daily Sport man then I take it?

Romo

If you ever run into a stuck up Irish person over the age of thirty here's a mental picture that brings them down a few notches.

They won't admit it, but the vast majority of them stood in the Phoenix Park in wet duffel coats, singing 'He's got the whole world in his hands', while waiting for the Pope to arrive. No doubt refreshed by TK and ham sandwiches. :rolleyes:

Gonzorex

Romo wrote:

If you ever run into a stuck up Irish person over the age of thirty here's a mental picture that brings them down a few notches.

They won't admit it, but the vast majority of them stood in the Phoenix Park in wet duffel coats, singing 'He's got the whole world in his hands', while waiting for the Pope to arrive. No doubt refreshed by TK and ham sandwiches. :rolleyes:

Spot on! and these are the very people snorting about the wankiness of pre-Tiger Ireland while an 'ironic' plastic Jesus nods out the back window of their 4 x 4!

Sappa

If you read the ops first post these are the people we are bailing out as a nation,sickening.

mikom

Yesterdays news and views today.
Stop buying these rags.
You'd be better off sending the price of the paper to boards.ie........ you'd get more value.

El Weirdo

Zombie lock.