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Bumber Stickers

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  • 02-01-2001 4:50am
    #1
    Keeks
    Registered Users Posts: 2,199 ✭✭✭


    Probably seen most of these b4 but no harm seeing them again.

    Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
    A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
    Horn broken, watch for finger.
    All men are idiots ... I married their king.
    The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
    My kid had sex with your honor student.
    If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
    Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply
    I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
    Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an *******.
    I'm just driving this way to **** you off.
    Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
    Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    Keep honking, I'm reloading.
    Hang up and drive.
    Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
    I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
    I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
    Lord save me from your followers.
    Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
    I said "no" to drugs, but they just woudn't listen.
    The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to GET you!
    If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
    Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
    Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
    He/She who laughs last thinks slowest
    Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
    Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
    Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
    Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
    Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
    Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
    Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
    I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
    Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off
    Tatoos... Not Just For Sluts And Sailors Anymore EMAIL ADDITIONS:
    "Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit"
    "My wife was inmate of the month at county jail!"

    He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
    A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
    On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
    When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
    Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
    Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
    I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
    He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
    I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
    Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
    Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
    It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
    The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
    It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
    You can't have everything, where would you put it?
    Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
    The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
    A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
    It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
    Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
    I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
    I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

    1. Constipated People Don't Give A ****.
    2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
    3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
    4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
    5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
    6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
    7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
    8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
    9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
    10.To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
    11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
    12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
    13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
    14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
    15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
    16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
    17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
    18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
    19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
    20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
    21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
    22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
    23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
    24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
    25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
    26. Illiterate? Write For Help
    27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
    28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
    29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
    30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
    31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
    32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
    33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
    37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
    38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
    39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
    40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
    41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service.... Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
    42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
    43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
    44. Ax Me About Ebonics
    45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
    46. Boldly Going Nowhere
    47. Cat: The Other White Meat
    48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
    49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
    50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
    51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
    52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
    53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
    54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
    55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
    56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
    57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
    58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
    59. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
    60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
    62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
    63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
    64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
    65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    Win95/98/ME: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch
    to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor
    written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    --Kaiser--
    Registered Users Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Keeks:


    Win95/98/ME: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch
    to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor
    written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

    </font>

    LMAO at that signiture keeks. biggrin.gif



  • Options
    #3
    Paladin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,313 ✭✭✭Paladin


    Ya, both content and signature are pretty funny smile.gif


  • Options
    #4
    Keeks
    Registered Users Posts: 2,199 ✭✭✭Keeks


    Cheers guys, thats means a lot to me *sniff*
    /me weeps a tear of joy from his eye.

    wink.gif

    Btw the signiture is actually one i stole from an amiga mad friend of mine.
    Win95/98/ME: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch
    to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor
    written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.


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