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Disorder in the Court!!!

  • 02-02-2005 8:08pm
    #1
    AlienGav
    Closed Accounts Posts: 520 ✭✭✭


    These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things
    people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
    published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while
    these exchanges were actually taking place.

    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.
    ___

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
    that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    ____

    Q: And where was the location of the accident?
    A: Approximately milepost 499.
    Q: And where is milepost 499?
    A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
    ____

    Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
    doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    ___

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    ____

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?
    ____

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?
    ____

    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?
    ____

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
    ____

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male or a female?
    ____

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    ____

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an!
    autopsy.
    ____

    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    ____

    This would be the best one.....

    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
    autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
    somewhere.


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