-Kelly Ann - The Dublin 4 version of Eminem 'Stan'

MiCr0

The Dublin 4 version of Eminem 'Stan'

Kelly Ann

My mocha's cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
I was head girl in Mount Anville, yet you won't return my call,
If you did it would be so great, but your picture on my wall,
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Ross, I phoned you but you still ain't calling,
I called your home phone and your mobile,
I even text messaged you,
I sent you a Christmas card you must not have got it,
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
My writing has SO gone to pot since I storted college,
But anyway, fock it, what's up, how's the Golf
I'm getting a cor too, I'm on my mom's insurance,
If I get a Seat Ibiza, guess what colour I'm going to paint it?
Red and black
I heard about UCD too, I'm sorry
I was tempted to kill myself when I didn't get on the hockey team
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan,
I've even got that **** you did with Ryle Nugent
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures Ross
I liked the piece you did with Tony Ward too, that was like SO good
Anyway, I hope you get this message, call me back to like chat,
Talk to you later, your biggest fan, this is Kelly Ann

My mocha's cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
I was head girl in Mount Anville, yet you won't return my call,
If you did it would be so great, but your picture on my wall,
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Ross, you still haven't called me, I hope you have a chance,
I'm not like ****ed off, I just think it's SO out of order that you
don't return calls
If you didn't want to talk to me outside Hilper's you didn't have to
But you didn't have to be with Amber,
That's my little sister Ross, she's only 15 years old
She waited in the blistering cold you outside Annabels and you just went
"Whoah"
That's like SO ****ty Ross, she did that just to **** me off,
She wants to be just like me, she doesn't love you like I do Ross,
I'm not mad, I just hate being lied to
Remember when we met in Tram Co, you said if I gave you my number you
would call me the next day,
See I'm just like you in a way, I hate my parents too,
They're like always wrecking my head and ****
I can relate to what you're saying in your columns,
And when I have a ****ty day, I pull them out and read them
Cause I've got like nothing else so it kind of helps me when I'm having
a 'mare
I've even got your number on speed dial in my phone
Sometimes I even cut sociology to see how hard you train,
It's like adrenaline, your playing is such a sudden rush for me,
See everything you say is real and I respect you cause you tell it,
All the girls are jealous cause I talk about you during tutorials,
But they don't know you like I do Ross, no one does,
They don't know what it was like for rich kids like us growing up,
You got to call me Ross, I'll be the best snog you ever had,

Sincerely yours, Kelly Ann,
PS. My dad plays golf with your dad

My mocha's cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
I was head girl in Mount Anville, yet you won't return my call,
If you did it would be so great, but your picture on my wall,
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Mister 'I'm Too Cool To Call Girls Back',
This is like the last time I'm ever going to leave a message,
It's been six weeks and still no word, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two messages, I saw you listening to them outside
the Students Union shop
So this is my last message I hope you hear it
I'm in the cor right now, I'm doing 45 on the Blackrock dual-carraigeway
Hey Ross, I just drank four Bacardi Breezers, dare me to drive?
You know that song from Pretty Woman about that girl who thought it must
have been love but it's over now?
And it must have been so good but she lost it somehow?
That's kind of how this is, you could have ended up being with me,
Now it's too late,
I'm on SUCH a downer now, I'm SO ****ed off
All I wanted was a lousy text message or a call,
I hope you know I ripped all of your posters of the wall,
I love you Ross, we could have been together, think about it
You've ruined it now, I hope when you sleep you dream about me
I hope you see me at the Orts Ball and can't breathe without me
See Ross? SHUT UP ***** I'M TRYING TO TALK
Hey Ross, that's Vonda Shepard singing in the back,
I don't like Ally McBeal, I just bought the soundtrack, it used to
remind me of you
Now I hope you break both your legs and you suffer. Maybe get scrumpox
too,
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the Merrion Centre now
Oh Fock, A Garda checkpoint

My mocha's cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
I was head girl in Mount Anville, yet you won't return my call,
If you did it would be so great, but your picture on my wall,
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

Dear Kelly Ann, I don't know who the fock you are, stop ringing my
phone,
You're wrecking my head, we're talking TOTALLY

SantaHoe

Ah greash stuff there, that was like SO worth reading

[SN]JAG

class