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Drinkin` isnt it great..
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27-01-2001 12:18am#1
An man's been drinking at a pub all night. When
he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. He
tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again,
he falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl
outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will
sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure
enough, he falls flat on his face. The Irishman
decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls
flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his
bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more
time to stand up. This time, he manages to pull
himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed.
He is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the
pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over
him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks innocently.
"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there
again."
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Top Ten Sex Spots
1. In your bed
2. In your parents bed
3. In her car
4. On a dryer, while running
5. In a hot tub
6. On a beach, down in the sand
7. On a comfy couch with the TV on
8. On a waterbed
9. A plane bathroom
10.In the rain**
Top 10 Places NOT to have sex
1. In the movies
2. In a car... WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING!
3. In front of all of your friends
4. In a phonebooth
5. In your best friend's bed
6. At Grandma's house
7. At school
8. In your dirty basement
9. In the street
10.ON-LINE**
Top three things to say before having sex:
1. I love you (but only if you mean it)
2. Rock my world
3. Let's get ready to RUMBLE...
Top three things NOT to say before having sex:
1.This gonna hurt I think its to big!
2. Sure....I've done this thousands of times...
3. Are you sure it's on there?
Top 3 things to say after sex:
1. Are you sure this was you're first time?
2. Gotta cigarette?
3. Wanna do it again?
Top 3 things NOT to say after sex:
1. Thats was IT??
2. I think I hear me ma calling me---see ya
after
3. OOPS, the condom broke! My bad!
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