Top 10 ways to be the coolest guy in the office

tHE vAGGABOND · 26-01-2001 9:58am #1

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were joking and call them a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting pretend you're hacking up a greener, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "Beat that ya ********".

7. Inform a male colleague that he would make a great rent-boy, then **** in his coffee and tell him he needs a good shag up the **** .

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and one hand down the front of your trousers.

5. Answer every question with "****ed if I know...", then call the person a ****.

4. Brag about the fact that you have a sexually transmitted disease.

3. Run around the office with your ***** out spraying **** everywhere yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont stop!" Then when it does, look down and go "Oh!"

2. Ask to borrow a colleague's expensive pen - take it to the toilet and stick it up your **** - return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it. When they say that it smells, say "It should - I had it up my **** "

1. **** on your office floor and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realise that their hand is full of real **** - laugh, embarrass them in front
of everyone and call them a thick *******!

logic1 · 26-01-2001 2:43pm

LMAO nice one

.logic.

Bard · 26-01-2001 2:56pm

Sorry- have to say, I don't find it funny in the slightest... just crude. I suppose you find "Office Pest" in the back of loaded magazine side-splittingly funny...?