PAC MAN arrested on drug charges

Lord Khan

PAC-LAND- The Pac-land community sat in shock over the announcement that their hero, Pac-Man, has been arrested for alleged drug use and possession.

Pac-Man was arrested at 11:08 am Monday, when officer Henry Johnson found Pac-Man running around in circles and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I found Mr. Man running around in a fit, yelling about ghosts. [The Pac-Land Police] have always been suspicious of him. Consider our evidence: he eats everything in sight, and he gets his strength from a designer drug known only as 'Power Pellets'. We have never been able to determine what these pellets consist of, for lack of a sample. However, Mr. Man was found with a few on his person. We confiscated them and ran some tests, which revealed that the pellets actually contain the following: methamphetamine, cocaine, LSD, PCP, and an assortment of steroids too numerous to list," said Johnson.

"License and registration?" Johnson added.

Upon being arrested, Pac-Man said, "Just wait until Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde show up to take over this godforsaken town. If you think I will ever help you get them again after this outrage, you got another thing coming!"

When informed of this "threat," Officer Johnson lost that annoying cool that all cops seem to have.

"Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde?! Come on now, does he honestly think that we are ****ing morons?" Johnson exploded. "First off, couldn't he come up with names a little more frightening than those? He must have had some really bad trips if he is honestly afraid of anything named Inky, Blinky, Pinky, or Clyde!"

Changing the subject, Johnson continued, "I can't even begin to fathom the pain he's causing our friends, families, and others that looked up to him. This [drug habit] isn't the only disturbing thing that has been revealed. For the last few years, we have all been duped. In order to keep people out of his affairs, Pac-Man introduced us to his 'girlfriend', 'Ms. Pac-Man'. It wasn't until recently that we discovered that there never was, nor will there ever be, a 'Ms. Pac-Man'. Apparently, Pac-Man placed a bow on his head, added some false eyelashes, and….well, I think you can figure out the rest."

"Have you been drinking?" he casually asked.

When questioned about possible sentencing and impact on the community, Johnson's said, "The only thing that we are still trying to figure out is, if Pac-Man is convicted, should we put him in a male or female prison? I mean, after all, since there is an obvious lack of genitalia, who is to say that its not really a Pac-woman?"

neuro-praxis

duh. Pac-Woman has a bow in her hair. (rolls eyes)

richindub2

hehe, very good

---

UP DA DUBS!!