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Don't read this thread. It's private. And certainly don't reply.

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  • 08-02-2001 8:27pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭


    A husband and a wife go off for the evening together to a party. The wife wants to leave, blames a headache, and goes home. In the hallway, she finds their butler Frederick. She says to him firmly, "Frederick, get upstairs with me *now*!"
    Frederick follows obediently, and once in the bedroom, she demands, "Frederick, remove my dress at once!" Frederick does as he is asked. "Now, Frederick," she says trying to remain composed, "please remove my slip." Frederick obeys her and removes her slip. She then says, "Now please, take off my tights."
    Frederick is embarassed, but does as she asks. Lastly, stading in her underwear, Frederick is instructed once more. "Frederick, please remove my bra and panties." Awkwardly he does as she says, and as calmly as she can, she says to him, "Now, Frederick, if I ever come home to find you wearing my clothes again, you will be fired."

    Do your limbs ever get tingly, eh? eh?


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Oh Neuro, you're such a card! Quite the charmer!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Why thank you, Neuro, I wrote this joke while I was in 'Nam. I lost all limbs except for my head.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    In Nam? Oh, you mean Vietnam!
    Wow, that's quite impressive. And you managed to live on without your body? Just being a head?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Oh god, would you ever shut your face, I lied about the losing my body thing.

    Ya thick sap. Féck off. I'm busy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Sorry I was just-


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    I SAID SHUT YOUR MOUTH!


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hummm......ehhhh......Hummmmm..ehhh............hummm....ehh..oookkk I get u ????


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,313 ✭✭✭Paladin


    ~


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,307 ✭✭✭richindub2


    *cough* Spam. wink.gif

    UP DA DUBS!! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,422 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    if this is spam .. do we, eh [hesitant], um ban Neuro?


    [cue Homer Simpson voice] Hmmm, pigeons.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    banning neuro would certainly bring back those advertising dollars she drives away.

    and i think it is worth cons...

    it is crazy that the brazillian armidillos get burnt in such a manner...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,436 ✭✭✭bugler


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Excelsior:
    it is crazy that the brazillian armidillos get burnt in such a manner... </font>

    indeed.


    prop6.gif


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    hmm richindub, thats a first 4 you isnt it..
    lol
    you only posted the once. wink.gif


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,320 ✭✭✭Q_Ball


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by neuro-praxis:
    I SAID SHUT YOUR MOUTH!</font>

    Get the hint crash biggrin.gif


    I need to think of a good signature.......

    [This message has been edited by Q_Ball (edited 09-02-2001).]


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 439 ✭✭tobi


    Great joke biggrin.gif


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,425 ✭✭✭Fidelis


    OJ wasn't joking wink.gif

    Nil Desperandum


  • Registered Users Posts: 898 ✭✭✭Winning Hand


    Bugger


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    I SAID this thread was PRIVATE. Shame on you all for intruding.

    As for the Brazilian armadillos, it's just terrible. They think they are safe from those fire balloons, but CURLING UP INTO A LITTLE BALL OF ARMOUR DOESN'T SAVE YOU FROM FLAMES!! biggrin.gif That's the mistake most of them make. It's the same situation for small rabbits and whatever other fauna happens to be nearby, if those Brazilians want to see those little lights in the sky, THEY WANT TO SEE THEM, and God help any defenseless animals who get in the way of human enjoyment. Tsk tsk.

    I'm off for a bacon sandwich now.

    Do your limbs ever get tingly, eh? eh?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    i'm offended.
    ban neuro.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by neuro-praxis:
    I SAID this thread was PRIVATE. Shame on you for intruding Q ball

    </font>

    yeah q ball!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    I NEVER SAID THAT, YOU DIRTY ROTTER!


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,422 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by neuro-praxis:
    I SAID this thread was PRIVATE. Shame on you all for intruding.</font>

    Well, we were trying to give you the first 10 posts or so to yourself, but then we just lost all finger-sphincter control.
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by neuro-praxis:
    I'm off for a bacon sandwich now.</font>

    Oh, you'll defend the armadillos and the rabbits, but you'll cut up and burn the little piggies? :-)
    .
    .
    .
    .
    /me had a BLT for lunch



    [cue Homer Simpson voice] Hmmm, pigeons.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,660 ✭✭✭Baz_


    *cough* spam *cough*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Of course I will cut up the little piggies.

    If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why were they made out of food?

    And if I hear the word spam one more time I might just eat my face off. Shut up with that ridiculous word. Raaar!

    Do your limbs ever get tingly, eh? eh?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,313 ✭✭✭Paladin


    Spam


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    you will wake up one day, paladin, only to discover that somebody poured acid into your eye cavaties.

    biggrin.gif


  • Moderators, Music Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,389 Mod ✭✭✭✭Lenny


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Fidelis:
    OJ wasn't joking wink.gif

    </font>

    you got it in one wink.gif
    and still to this day, he still has only posted _ONCE_ !
    smile.gif


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,422 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by neuro-praxis:
    If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why were they made out of food?</font>

    LOL ;-)
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by neuro-praxis:
    Of course I will cut up the little piggies.

    And if I hear the word spam one more time I might just eat my face off.
    </font>

    Isn't Spam a type of pork?


    [cue Homer Simpson voice] Hmmm, pigeons.

    [This message has been edited by Victor (edited 15-02-2001).]


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭neuro-praxis


    Spam is made mainly from pork. It's like, canned pork, but it's the worst, crappiest bits of the pork. And it's mixed with flavour enhancers, soya proteins, gelatine, loads of Es, seasonings and all that. It's a very cheap meat substitute. It tastes like decaying matter and is more popular in the Uk than here. It's like canned corned beef, only with pork instead of beef.

    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

    dis GUST ing

    Do your limbs ever get tingly, eh? eh?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 78,422 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Ok, we'll agree that spam isn't real meat. :-)


    [cue Homer Simpson voice] Hmmm, pigeons.

    [This message has been edited by Victor (edited 18-02-2001).]


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