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Only in the courts!

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  • 24-02-2001 1:19am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,398 ✭✭✭


    Don't know if this has been up before!These are things people actually said in court,
    word for word, taken down and now
    published by court reporters - who had the
    torment of staying calm
    while these exchanges were actually taking
    place. Some of these are
    excellent - don't miss the last one.

    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
    you've
    forgotten?

    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
    sleep,
    he doesn't know about
    it until the next morning?

    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
    people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you
    go to?
    A: Oral.

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
    an
    autopsy.

    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
    for a
    pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
    you began
    the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the
    less?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
    practicing
    law somewhere.




    thefanj.gif

    Clan Acid


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,660 ✭✭✭Baz_


    very ****ing funny, i cant believe some of the things said


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,984 ✭✭✭✭Lump


    HE HE. NICE WAN smile.gif


    John


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