Best sex ever!

Keeks

A cruise ship goes down in the Pacific and there are two survivors...an engineer and Cindy Crawford.

After a few weeks, the engineer has got things pretty much organized and he and Cindy are getting along and might even survive the ordeal.

So after a scrumptious dinner of sea-bass and fried bananas, Cindy bats her eyes at our hopelessly efficient friend and suggests they they both yield to their natural urges.

After going at it hammer and tongs most of the night, Cindy asks if everything was alright. Our engineer says, "Well it could have been better" Cindy replies "Are you kidding? I'm Cindy Crawford! How could it possibly be better!?"

He says, "Well, you could do three things for me..." and now she's curious enough to go along with it.

He says, "First, do you mind if I call you Bob?" and she gives him a funny look and says, "OK"

Then he says "Next, do you mind drawing a moustache on your lip with some of the coal from the fire?" and she arches her eyebrows and agrees.

Finally he says "Run about 100 yards down the beach and walk this way as if you don't know me". At this point she just shakes her head and says "Whatever, but I don't see how this is going to make our sex any better"

So she runs down the beach and walks up to our engineer friend. When she's 20 feet away, he jumps up and down and screams "Bob! BOB! I just fu<ked Cindy Crawford!"

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Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer)

gimp, apparently

A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. "I know you've been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?" The husband replied, "Look, I don't want to upset you, there were many. Let's just leave it alone." The wife continued to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in. "Let's see." he said "There was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine..."

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gimp, apparently

A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says, "I'd like 99 condoms please". With a surprised look on
her face the pharmacist says, "99 Condoms!?! F*ck me!" to which the guy replies, "Make it 100 then..."

The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone, with a huge pile of human bones next to him, and the rescuers are shocked. He says, "You can't judge me for this. I had to survive." The leader of the rescue team says, "But Jesus Christ, man... your plane only went down yesterday."

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Baz_

4 for the price of one click eh excellent i like it keep up the good work.