The Perfect Employee?

Spunog UIE

The Perfect Employee?

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the
report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd
numbered lines.

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A young man, wanted to get his beautiful wife something nice
for their first wedding anniversary. So, he decides to buy
her a cell phone. She is all excited and she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the
phone.

The next day the wife goes to get her hair done. Her phone
rings and it's her husband. "Hi hon," he says, "How do you
like your new phone?"

"I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a
bell. But there's one thing I don't understand. How did you
know I was at the beauty parlor?"
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Heh heh.
Gideon.