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23-04-2001 4:26pm#1How to recognise that you are spending too much time online...
1. You wake up at 3 am to the bathroom and stop to check your
email on the way back to bed.
2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with
Internet Explorer 5.5 or higher."
3. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.
4. You turn off the modem and get this awful feeling, like you just
pulled the plug on a loved one.
5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap
and your child in the overhead compartment.
6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two,
just for the free Internet access.
7. You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
8. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
9. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a
word processor.com
10. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
11. You start introducing yourself as "John Doe at hotmail Dot
Com".
12. All your friends have a @ in their names.
13. Your cat has its own homepage.
14. You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.
15. You check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you
check it again.
16. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
17. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before
you landscape.
18. You tell the cab driver you live at:
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html
19. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
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