Engineers

riam

Q: What is the definition of an engineer?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you
don't understand.

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities (or their woolly jumpers).

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map
the wrong way.

You might be an engineer if ...

1) choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM
is a moral dilemma.

2) you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.

3) in college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.

4) the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of
your questions.

5) at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.

6) you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.

7) you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

8) you can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own
handwriting.

9) you comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

10) you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the
special effects.

11) you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.

12) you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

13) you know what "http://" stands for.

14) you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.

15) you see a good design and still have to change it.

16) you spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.

17) you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.

18) you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.

19) you window shop at Radio Shack

20) your laptop computer costs more than your car

21) your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.

22) you've already calculated how much you make per second.

23) you've tried to repair a $5 radio.


Comprehending Engineers-Take One:

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Two:

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Three:

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be

nesf

Engineer 1:
"Hey, you'll never guess what happened to me last night!"

Eng 2:
"What?"

Eng 1:
"Well this beautiful women came upto me last night in a motorcycle. She parked the bike, got off, and then took off all her clothes and threw them on the ground. Then she said "Take whatever you want""

Eng 2:
"And what did you take"

Eng 1:
"The motorcycle of course"

Eng 2:
"Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway"

Paladin

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">You might be an engineer if ... </font>

I do/know a lot of those things. Most probably. And there is NOTHING wrong with quoting Monty Python

Me go electronic eng. btw, so i guess I was doomed to know those things

nesf

Considering an elec eng student told me that joke in the first place....

Paladin

Do you know skorzeny?

nesf

Maybe,

You every visit C.I.T. or perhaps played pictionary perhaps?

po0k

I too hope to learn the lore of designing 'stuff'.
Alos, an engineer sits in the cinema watching special effectssaying 'That wouldn't have happend', like petrol exploding. it doesn't - FACT.

i got 405 points in my mocks. last years points for Elec. Eng. in NUIG were 400. I'm sound.

Victor

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by [FCA]SyxPak:
Alos, an engineer sits in the cinema watching special effectssaying 'That wouldn't have happend', like petrol exploding. it doesn't - FACT.</font>

Tell that to my friend whose car caught fire and blew up today (OK maybe not as much as in the movies but......)

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Changing call sign to SIERRA PAPA OSCAR OSCAR FOXTROT.