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B&W religion

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  • 27-04-2001 3:34am
    #1
    Cake Fiend
    Registered Users Posts: 5,335 ✭✭✭


    Nicked from a newsgroup who probably nicked it from somewhere else:


    Which is the One True God?

    Whichever one dumps the most food and lumber in your home town. It's a lot
    like congress.

    Why do bad things happen to good people?

    Many reasons. God may be too busy playing with his giant cow to notice. Or
    God may have tossed, burnt, or electrocuted the good person in order to
    impress the good person's friends. Or maybe God is just a bored a$$hole.

    Can God make a stone so big He can't lift it?

    No. But He can break stones into two identical smaller stones, which you
    must admit is pretty impressive. He can also drop them on your head if you
    don't agree.

    What does God expect of us?

    God wants you to get your own damn lumber, farm your own damn food, and stop
    bugging Him for more damn offspring. He also wants you to chant when He
    tells you to so He can rain down fiery burning death on the next town over.

    Did God create evil?

    No, but He often indulges in it. See "a$$hole, bored."

    Which is more important, faith or works?

    God's giant cow is more important than either.

    What happens when we die?

    A spooky voice whispers "death."

    What can I do to become saved?

    Everyone is saved, thanks to the universe's convenient "auto-save" feature.

    What is the purpose of life?

    To help God win so He can get some damn sleep.



Comments

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    #2
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    LOL - Brilliant!


    All the best,

    Dav
    @B^)
    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Prepare yourself - The Beefy King stirs from his slumber...</font>

    [url="http://http:clanhitk.warfactory.com"][honey i] violated [the kids][/url]


  • Options
    #3
    richindub2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,307 ✭✭✭richindub2


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Sico:
    Can God make a stone so big He can't lift it?

    No. But He can break stones into two identical smaller stones, which you
    must admit is pretty impressive. He can also drop them on your head if you
    don't agree.


    </font>

    Best one, definetly, lol biggrin.gif

    Originally posted by Lucy_la_morte:
    J'adore richindub2 mais pas le Spam.
    0o


  • Options
    #4
    Paladin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,313 ✭✭✭Paladin


    Hehe


  • Options
    #5
    adnans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,967 ✭✭✭adnans


    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Sico:

    What happens when we die?

    A spooky voice whispers "death."
    </font>


    ROFL - classic material


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