Tech Support Funnies VI - Programming

strat · 08-05-2001 4:07pm #1

Him: "I can download games like Quake and play them during lunch, you know."
Me: "We're only allowed 10 megs in our accounts, and the system administrators would notice you downloading a large file."
Him: "Nah, I could hack it so he couldn't."
Me: "Ah, so you are into hacking. By the way do you know any programming languages?"
Him: "Yeah, of course."
Me: "Which ones?"
Him: "I can't tell you or else you'll use them."
Me: "Just by mentioning C++ or Pascal or whatever will not instantly make me a genius with those languages."
Him: "Oh sorry, I didn't understand you. Yeah, I know C++ and Pascal."
Me: "What compiler do you use?"
Him: "Well, Qbasic is my favorite."
Me: "Nobody over the age of eight uses QBasic for serious purposes."
Him: "But they made windows with QBasic."
I almost cried laughing.

User: "Hey, can you help me? My program doesn't work."
Consultant: "What is the problem? Are you using Turbo Pascal?"
User: "Yes, the program just blocks the machine."
Consultant: "Well, does it compile?"
User: "I don't know -- it just doesn't run. You see? There's the EXE file. If you run it, it blocks the machine."
Consultant: "And where is your source, the PAS file??"
User: "I wrote it and renamed it to EXE so it could run."

Friend: "The program is written, and I'm debugging it."
Boss: "What's wrong with you people? You make programming more difficult than it needs to be. I have Frontpage Express to write web pages with, and when I write code with it, I never need to debug it. If you were as good of a programmer as me, you'd never need to debug either."

hehehe