Tech Support Funnies VI - Role Reversal

strat · 09-05-2001 11:56am #1

omg the state of these "higly trained tech support specialists"

Customer: "Hi, I can't seem to connect you guys are you having a problem?"
Tech Support: "Well sir, what dialup software are you using?"
Customer: "The one you provided."
Tech Support: "And what version is it?"
Customer: (says the version number)
Tech Support: "Oh, that's the problem you need the latest version."
Customer: "Ok, how do I get it?"
Tech Support: "Well, just transfer the file via FTP."
Customer: "Well that would be nice, but I can't connect to the Internet."
Tech Support: (sounding exasperated) "I told you just to FTP the file sir."

Me: "I'm trying to access the University's network from my computer in my dorm room. Can you help me?"
Help Desk: "Which lab are you in?"
Me: "I'm not in a lab. I'm in my room."
Help Desk: "Then you're not on the network."
Me: "But I want to connect over the phone line. What number do I need to dial?"
Help Desk: "You need to call [phone number of help desk]."
Me: "No, that's your phone number. I need a dial-up number for the computer."
Help Desk: "I don't understand. What are you trying to do?"
Me: "I want to connect my computer to the school's network through the dial-up."
Help Desk: "Why don't you use a computer in the lab?"
Me: "That would defeat the purpose of having a computer in my room."
Help Desk: "Well, your computer is not connected to the school network."
Me: "I know! I want to use my modem to connect."
Help Desk: "What's a modem?"
Me: "Never mind."

Me: "I was thinking of installing Linux, but I was wondering if you knew if the modem works under Linux."
Tech Support: "Oh, I'm sorry, we only support Windows."
Me: "I know. I was just wondering if you knew if it was possible."
Tech Support: "But we only support Windows."
Me: "I know, but just to save me some time, have you heard of anyone that got Linux to work with the modem?"
Tech Support: (getting annoyed) "Why can't you just use Netscape?"
Me: "Uh, wha? It's not a browser, it's a--never mind. Thanks for your help."

Customer: "When my computer boots up, all I get is a black screen that says, 'boot2/'."
Tech Support: "What operating system are you using?"
Customer: "I'm using Windows 98 and NT 4.0."
Tech Support: "Ok, I'm the Mac tech. The Windows tech is gone, but I can try to help you."
Customer: "Ok, what should I do? I've reformatted the hard drive and have fresh installs of both operating systems."
Tech Support: "Sir, have you put any cheese or mustard in your a drive?"
Customer: "What? Did you just ask me if I put cheese or mustard in my floppy drive?"
Tech Support: "Yeah, we've had that happen a lot lately."
Customer: (staring blankly at roommate, who was laughing uncontrollably on the floor) "I think I'll wait for the PC tech to get back. Thanks for the help." (click)

Last term in college I was working in the lab when my network connection suddenly died. Mine was the only computer doing that, and we're not supposed to mess with the computers ourselves, so I called the lab attendant over.

This guy was a fourth term programming major. I don't know how he was this stupid. But I told him what was wrong and what error message I was getting ("no route to host") and figured he'd go behind the computer and check the wires.

No. He brought up the menu on the monitor (that allows you to adjust the size, shape, tint, brightness, etc, of the display) and starts fiddling with that. He told me to try again. Obviously it didn't work.

Me: "Why don't you just check the network wires?"
Him: "I'm the computer expert here. Just let me work."
He fiddled with the monitor settings some more. Finally he slapped the monitor and said:

Him: "Well, I don't know what's wrong. That's what they get for having NT servers."
When he left, I checked the back of the computer. As I thought, the wire had gotten pulled out.

*groan*

its funney to laff at others in incompetance

"So long loosers whom I've always hated"