Three Turtles...

Lucutus

Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Raymond, decide to go on a picnic. So Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas,
and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.

By the time they do arrive, everyone's exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and
says, 'Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener.' 'I didn't bring the bottle opener,' Steve says, 'I thought you packed it?'
Joe gets worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the bottle opener?'

Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Steve beg Raymond
to turn back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back. After about two
hours, the turtles manage to convince Raymond to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food.

So, Raymond sets off down the road, slow and steadily. Twenty days pass, but no Raymond.
Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise.
After three more days pass without Raymond in sight, Steve starts getting restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a hint of
dementia in his voice. 'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We promised.'

Five more days pass. Joe realises that Raymond probably skipped out to the diner down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the
lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat.

But then, right at that instant, Raymond pops out from behind a rock, and says, 'I knew it! I'm not fúcking going!'

Da Bounca

fécking class

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Sit UBU sit, good dog.
*woof*

nesf

lol

This is becoming an epidemic... help us...

TwoShedsJackson

Eh lads thats been posted twice in the last week alone

Hunter-FLUID

LOL
But it is good

[NON]mojo

LOL

here's one called "Three Ducks"

a man walks into a pub with three ducks under his arm and puts them down on the bar.
The barkeeper is a bit surprised but decides to keep quiet.

eventually the man with the ducks goes off 2 the toilet, leaving the barman with the ducks. there is an awkward silence, so the barman starts talking to the ducks.

he turns 2 the 1st one and says "What's ur name?"
"Huey." it replies.
"and how was ur day?"
"it was great. i've been in and out of puddles all day. i've fu<king loved it."

The barman turns to the second duck and says: "What's ur name? and how was ur day?"

"my name is Louie, and i've had a great day. i've been in and out of puddles all day. i've fu<king loved it."

then the barman turns 2 the third duck and says: " so u must b Duey."
"No. My name is Puddles, and don't ask about my fu<king day!!!"

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Austin 3:16 "You stole my mojo!!"