Albert and the vaseline

TheWolf · 16-05-2001 4:52pm #1

Mr and Mrs Poddle lived with their daughter Aoife in a neat little suburban street next to a lad called Albert. For years Aoife fancied Albert, but Albert didn't notice because he was obsessed with his bike, which he cared for with a passion. One day he was polishing his bike like he did everyday when Aoife looked over the fence and asked if he would like to come to dinner next Saturday night. "Can I bring my bike?" was Alberts immediate reply. "I guess so" said Aoife. Saturday night came around and sure enough Albert arrived at the front door with his bike. "Can I bring my bike inside?" he asked. "No, leave it outside on the porch" said Mr Poddle. "Alright" says Albert, "but if it is staying out in the moist air I need to give it another rub with Vaseline to keep the rust away. I do this every day" as he began to busily polish it. It was a lovely meal, but as they pushed away the empty plates from the third course, Mrs Poddle said "Well, that was nice, but since I cooked, im not doing the dishes". "Im not, I have company over" said Aoife. "Im not, i've been in work all day" said Mr Poddle. "And Im not" said Albert. "It looks like rain outside so I have to polish my bike again." They started arguing until Mr Poddle yelled "Enough! No more argument. Not another word. In fact, whoever utters the next word will do the dishes." They all sat there, tight-lipped. Silence. Outside there were some storm clouds gathering and Albert became agitated about the possible dampness on his bike. He desperately wanted to get the vaseline jar and give it another coat. But still all was silent. Another look out at the storm clouds and Albert decided to take desperate measures and make someone speak. He leapt on Aoife, wrestled her to the floor and deflowered her. Mr and Mrs Poddle were aghast, but not one word was uttered. Another perod of silence ensured. Albert took his second desperate action. He jumped on Mrs Poddle and gave her one too. Mr Poddles jaw dropped open but then he gritted his teeth and not one word escaped. What else could Albert do? He was defeated for it was starting to rain heavily and there was a chance that his bike was not fully under cover on the porch. "Damn, Ive got to run over to my house and get some more Vaseline quick" he muttered to himself. Mr Poddle jumped up and ran into the kitchen screaming "I'll do the dishes, I'll do the dishes"

[This message has been edited by TheWolf (edited 17-05-2001).]

--Kaiser-- · 16-05-2001 5:47pm

Absolutely ridiculous!
Loved it!

TheWolf · 16-05-2001 5:51pm

your welcome

BlitzKrieg · 16-05-2001 8:24pm

TENDER!!!!!!!

Celt · 17-05-2001 12:45am

marvellous

rumpelstiltskin · 17-05-2001 11:54am

Originally posted by TheWolf:
Aoife looked over the fence and asked if he would like to come to dinner next Saturday night. "Can I bring my bike?" was Alberts immediate reply. "I guess so" said Molly.

Who the fúck was Molly?