Big fat twinkies

Shagus

A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his
front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he
had to get rid of it. So, he called the sanitation department,
the health department, and several other agencies, but no one
seemed able to help him. In desperation, the good Reverend
called the Mayor and asked what should be done.

The Mayor must have been having a bad day. "Why bother me?" he
asked. "You're a clergyman. It's your job to bury the dead."

The pastor lost his cool. "Yes," he snapped, "But I thought I
should at least notify the next-of-kin."

---

A young girl is sitting in a barber shop with her mother,
eating a Twinkie, and anxiously awaiting her first haircut.
When her turn comes, she brings her Twinkie with her to the
chair, and the barber covers her. Soon, she pulls the Twinkie
out for a bite.

"You're getting hair on your Twinkie," the barber playfully warns.

"Yes, I know," replies the girl. "And I'm getting boobs, too."

---

Bob was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the
table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an
article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a
football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and
common knowledge.

He turned to his wife Marlene with a look of question on his
face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the
most attractive wives."

Marlene replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

---

Mrs. Grednik, who was a little on the chubby side, was at her
weight-watchers meeting ."My husband insists I come to these
meetings because he would rather make love to a woman with a
trim figure," she lamented to the woman next to her.

"Well," the lady replied, "what's wrong with that?"

"He likes to do it while I'm stuck at these damn meetings."