Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Religious Insurance?

Options
  • 24-05-2001 5:35pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭


    Two tourist groups, one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes,
    charter a double-decker bus for a weekend in Vegas. The brunettes ride in
    the bottom of the bus and the blondes ride on the top level. The brunettes
    down below are whooping it up and having a great time when one of them
    realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides
    to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all
    the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and
    clutching the seats in front of them. The brunette says, "What is going on
    up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

    One of the blondes says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"


    Bill's barn burned down, and his wife Polly called the
    insurance company.

    Polly told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured
    for fifty thousand, and I want my money."

    The agent replied, "Hold on just a minute, Polly.
    Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the
    value of what was insured and provide you with a new barn of
    comparable worth."

    There was a long pause before Polly replied, "Then I'd like
    to cancel the policy on my husband."


    The Catholic Church's air conditioning broke down, so they had to
    hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure out what was
    wrong.

    As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the sanctuary,
    he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the altar, apparently
    saying her rosary. Since the man was a fundamental Baptist, he
    thought it'd be funny to try and mess with the lady's mind. In
    his best authoritative voice, he said, "This is Jesus. Your
    prayers will be answered."

    The little old lady didn't even blink, just kept on saying her
    prayers. The man decided maybe she didn't hear him, and tried
    again. "This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers will be
    answered!"

    Again, she didn't react at all. Mustering up a big breath of air,
    the man decided to try again. "THIS IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF
    GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!"

    The lady looks up and says, "SHUT UP! I'M TALKING TO YOUR
    MOTHER!"



Advertisement