The perfect anniversary pressie

Shagus · 24-05-2001 5:14pm #1

A man was talking to his buddy, and said, "I don't know what
to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and
besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm
stumped."

His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a
certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex,
any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!"
So the first fella did just that.

The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my
suggestion? How'd it turn out?"

"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the
mouth, and ran out the door yelling -- I'll see you in two
hours!"

Via phone call:

Al: "By the way, man, I heard a new joke! What has a small
dick and hangs down?"

Mickey: "Uh, I dunno... a bat?"

Al: "Good! Ok, now what has a big dick and hangs up?"

Mickey: "Uhm, I don't know, I give up."

*CLICK* bzzzzzzzzzz...

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo
Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."