Little Johnny

sword

LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX
>
>Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him
>sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in
>preparation of sex with his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his
>full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed.
>Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?"
>His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."
>To which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, f**k him?"
>
>=============================
>LITTLE JOHNNY AND THE VAGINA
>
>Little Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day,
>so she took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said,
>"Johnny, this is where you come from."
>Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting that all his
>friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny." "Why?" one asked. Johnny held
>his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being
>a turd."
>=======================
>LITTLE JOHNNY, THE SMART ASS
>
>A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
>answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
>The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"
>Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the f**k do you
>think?"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
>Why?" asks the father.
>"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
>"But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
>"What's the f**king difference?" asks the father.
>"That's what I said!"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Multi-syllable Word
>Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, Today we are Going
>to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
>multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me,
>me!'
>Miss Rogers: All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?
>Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
>Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
>Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a *******."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy,Can little
>girls have babies?"
>"No," said his Mom, "of course not."
>Little Johnny then ran back outside and his Mom heard him yell to his
>friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Going To The Bathroom
>
>Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed
to
>go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a ****!"
>The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in
>this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use
>the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
>Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight too, but if
you
>had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of
>hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the say sentence
>twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
>bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very
>good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My
>mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he
said.
>"Excellent, Michael! Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
>"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
>pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ......just f**king beautiful!'"

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