Pizza with horse anyone?

Shagus

Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched
as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and
down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes,
Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?"

"Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."

Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right
away!"

"Why?" his father asked.

"Because the milkman stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants
to buy Mom!"

---

The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and
possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking
a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square.

The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone
call, since he was unable to reach either parent.

Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said,
"I suppose you're the kids' lawyer."

"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver them a pizza."

---

A very drunk man got up from the bar and staggered away and into the
bathroom. A few moments later a blood-curdling scream came from inside
the bathroom. A few seconds went by and then another painful scream.

The bartender went into the bathroom, approached the drunk and said, "What
the hell is going on in here? All the screaming you're doing is scaring
all the folks in the bar."

The drunk answered, "All I wanted to do was come in here and unload some
of the liquid I've consumed but I was too drunk to stand at the urinal so
I sat down to go to the bathroom. The problem is, every time I flush the
toilet, something comes up out of the pipes and bites me in the balls REAL
hard."

The bartender snickers and says, "You damned fool, you're sitting on the
mop bucket."