Men vs Cucumbers.

netwhizkid

Heres one for the ladies. They are usually the butt of our jokes so i thought it was time we switched that around. Still you got to admire their butts. :rolleyes:

33 good reasons why Cucumbers are better than Men.

1) The average cucumber is at least 6” longer.
2) Cucumbers stay hard for a least 2 weeks.
3) A cucumber wont tell you size doesn’t matter.
4) Cucumbers don’t get too excited.
5) You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket and know how firm they are before taking them home.
6) A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
7) You can go to the movies with a cucumber and see all the movie.
8) Cucumbers are easy to pick up, as most supermarkets keep them.
9) A cucumber won’t ask “Am I the first ?”
10) A cucumber won’t tell other cumbers that you’re not a virgin anymore.
11) With a cucumber you don’t have to be a virgin more than once.
12) Cucumbers won’t make you wear kinky clothes or wear boots in bed.
13) You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
14) You can eat cucumbers when YOU fell like it.
15) Cucumbers aren’t into meaningful relationships.
16) Cucumbers aren’t jealous of your gynaecologist, ski instructor or hairdresser.
17) Cucumbers won’t make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the fridge.
18) How matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
19) A cucumber won’t care what time of the month it is.
20) With a cucumber you never have to say you’re sorry.
21) Cucumbers can stay all night and you don’t have sleep on the wet patch.
22) Cucumbers don’t leave you wondering for a month.
23) Cucumbers never answer your phone, read your txts or borrow your car.
24) Cucumbers don’t eat all your food or drink all your booze.
25) Cucumbers don’t leave dirty shorts or socks on the floor.
26) With a cucumber the toilet seat is always how you left it.
27) A cucumber will never leave you for:
a) Another man,
b) Another woman,
c) Another cucumber.
28) You won’t find out later that you’re cucumber is
a) Married
b) On penicillin
c) likes you but loves your brother.
29) You don’t have to wait until half-time to talk to your cucumber.
30) It easy to drop a cucumber.
31) No matter how you slice it you can always have your cucumber and eat it.
32) Cucumbers don’t leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool all over your pillow.
33) Cucumbers don’t fart in bed.

Hope you liked them,

Regards netwhizkid

Gone West

oh great another one of these. movee along

Ruaidhri

heh personally i'd prefer a woman that prefered men..not fruit/vegetables. i think that joke dies back somehwere in the mists of time.

popinfresh

I dunno, I find that that thread actually insults women more than men. I mean wtf, cucumber. It's like a thread with men saying why masturbation is better than sex.

Bottle_of_Smoke

i like your style popinfresh, where is this thread you speak of?

wayfarer

humph! I dont know what kind of cucumbers you hang around with, but the ones I know are nothing like that!!