Funny Limericks ***WARNING: CONTAINS RUDE WORDS!!***

[Jackass]

What are your favourite "Limericks"?

I'll get the ball rowling:


There once was a man from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."

Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.
But stupid Jill forgot da pill
and now they have a young son.

There once was a lady from France,
Who got on the Bus in a trance,
Everyone fu<ked her, except the conducter,
But he came three times in his pants.

stagolee

there once was a man from devizes,
who had balls of two different sizes,
one ball was small,
and of no use at all,
the other so large it won prizes.

(devizes is a town in wiltshire)

robbie1876

There once was a girl called Gill
Who f*cked a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

dinjo

jack and jill went up the hill
so jack could lick jill's fan*y
but jack got a shock
and a mouth full of co*k
cause jill was a fu***ng tranny!

Zombienosh

Lmfao!!!

good stuff

Gilgamesh

great stuff

yeraulone

ha!

Shabadu

There was a young man from Nantuckit,
whose d!ck was so long he could suck it.
Said he with a grin,
'I can cum on my chin,
and if my ear was a c*nt I could f*ck it.'

EricM

There once was a man from Peru
who fell asleep in a canoe
while dreaming of Venus
he played with his penis
and woke up with a hand full of goo

billy the squid

There once was a man from St. Pauls
Who used to perform in the halls
his favorite trick
was to stand on his prick
and roll off the stage on his balls

mickot

A mathemathician named "Hall"
Had a hexahedronical ball
The cube of its weight..
times his pecker, plus eight..
Is his phone number - give him a call!


There was a old who-er from Crewe
Who filled her vagina with glue
Says she with a grin,
If they pay to get in,
they can pay to get out of it too!

Yavvy

there was a young girl from Madrid
who swore she'd never been rid
along came an Italian
with balls like a stallion and rode her like Billy the kid

There was a young lass from Leeds
who swallowed a bag of seeds
when out of her ass
came a blade of grass
and her fanny was covered in weeds

Shabadu

There was a young vampire named Mable,
Whose periods were totally stable.
So every full moon,
She'd sit with a spoon,
and drink herself under the table.

rugbug86

there once was a man from nantucket
whos dick was so long he could suck it
and he thought to himself
as he put up a shelf
if my ear was a fanny id **** it

Shabadu

There was a young lady from Ealing,
who one day got the most peculiar feeling.
She lay on her back,
and opened her crack,
then peed all over the ceiling.

*adele*

lol