some time fillers

stu_69

There are three guys stranded in a desert, and they come upon this house, out in the middle of the desert. The first guy rings the doorbell, and this old lady answers the door. The guy asks if he can have some water and a meal, she replies saying, only if you have sex with me. The guy looks at her face, covered in nasty warts, and says, I'll pass. The next guy walks up, rings the doorbell and asks for the same thing. She again replies, only if you have sex with me, she said I'll give you a sneak peek, she opens the top of her dress, revealing her tits. The guy looks, and sees these nasty breasts, and says no, I'll pass. the third and final guy, who is the most desperate, does the same thing. Gets the peek, and decides what the hell. He says you have to feed me first. While eating, he makes sure to ask for a few pieces of corn on the cob, and she does this. They go into the bedroom, and he says he only does it with the lights off. she abides, and while laying on the bed, she asks when are ya gonna do it?. he takes out one piece of corn, sticks it in there, and tosses it out the window. he goes through the process again, and when it was all said and done, she offered all three of the friends a meal. when the man asked his friends if they wanted a meal, they replied... No thanks, we just had some nice, buttery, corn on the cob.
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It’s Fallen and I Can’t Get It Up! “Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.”
“Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.”
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife.
“Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas,” the doctor says. “Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on.” The doctor took the husband aside. “You’re in perfect health,” he said. “Your wife didn’t give me an erection either.”
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A redneck, a sheep, and a dog found themselves stranded on a desert island. After awhile, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful pillowy clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle—a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the redneck. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the redneck took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck, and the only survivor was a beautiful young woman. She was hurt pretty badly when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, pillowy clouds, a warm and gentle breeze—perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the redneck started to get “those feelings” again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear, “Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?”
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