Two old ladies

stu_69

Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and
that and the subject eventually got around to sex. The first old lady
said she enjoyed sex now, just as much as ever. The second old lady was
surprised, and asked her what her secret was. The old lady said when she
hears her husband pulling the car into the garage. She hurries and takes
a shower, then jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When
her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way
with her. The second old lady decides to try this approach. So that
night when she hears her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower,
jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. Her husband comes
into the bedroom, takes one look and says, "For God sake Maude, comb
your hair and put you teeth in, you're starting to look like an
*******!"

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length
mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror,
looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower,
she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are
too small.

Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your
breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between
your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a
piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her
breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.
"They'll grow gradually larger over a period of some years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts everyday will make my breasts grow?" she asks.
The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?