Things I didn't know before I saw Independence Day

carpocrates

"Things I did not know until I saw ID4"
( courtesy of Perry O'Grady)

I would like to be perfectly clear that I found "Independence Day" to be a great deal of fun and a thoroughly enjoyable motion picture.
However, I realized that there were a number of things about which I was completely ignorant until I saw "ID4." The following is a list of things that I did not know until I saw "Independence Day":

* It is reasonable to assume that the quality of the training of United States Marine Corps pilots is such that any Marine fly boy could hop into an alien spacecraft and immediately be able to fly it into deep space
* The White House press secretary has a listed phone number
* When stuck in a tunnel and faced with Armageddon in the form of a fireball that is capable of obliterating all life in Los Angeles, simply duck into a maintenance closet and let the end of the world pass you by
* Despite the fact that we are able to send a fax from a beeper on our hip while walking down a street in San Francisco to a Range Rover in Johannesburg, alien spacecraft need to be hardwired to a satellite to speak to each other
* High class strippers with a heart of gold can operate most heavy equipment
* It is not beyond the realm of imagination that the President of the United States would be a fighter jock and would be willing to return to active duty to do battle with invincible alien bad guys
* Alien spacecraft the size of Australia can be taken out with one well-placed sidewinder missile
* Most laptops are configured with interfaces powerful enough to override the communications systems of the most sophisticated futuristic societies
* Despite the fact that they wear biomechanical body armor that can only be removed with a scalpel and the fact that they possess hyper-developed brains that allow them to destroy their enemies simply by thinking about it, alien fighter pilots have a glass jaw and can be knocked unconscious for hours with one punch
* If you are a woman who: 1)survives a blast from an alien spacecraft that wipes out Los Angeles 2)lives through the ensuing helicopter crash 3)survives while buried by rubble 4)survives despite being transported by open backed diesel truck across the worst terrain ever created...do not check into a military hospital with the best medical help money can buy because YOU WILL DIE
* Despite the fact that no living person, even on a clear day with a map and two state troopers providing an escort, can negotiate the Los Angeles freeway system without getting lost, nearly-blown-up women can drive through the shattered ruins of a decimated Los Angeles straight to El Toro
* When you crash an alien spacecraft into the high desert because you were hurtled back through the earth's atmosphere by an atomic blast you set off, the fact that you do not have a parachute or any other visible means of slowing your fall does not mean that you should not walk away from the wreckage completely unscathed and straight into your girl's arms
* The standard trip home from space, when assisted by an atomic blast, lasts approximately two to three pulls on a cigar
* Although aliens possess technological capabilities millions of years beyond our own that enables them to embed secret codes in our satellite network, they can be stymied by Morse Code, which is generally printed on the front panel of a child's walkie talkie
* The most sophisticated labs in the world have impenetrable vault doors buried 30 stories into mountains but use regular hardware store glass panes for observation rooms in the lab nerve center
* Although aliens possess tentacles dexterous enough to manipulate human vocal cords from outside the throat when the need to speak strikes them, they can not open a door for themselves
* The correct military honor for a hero who saves the world by sacrificing his own life by flying directly into the alien death ray is to clap and cheer wildly in front of the hero's family immediately after he perishes
* Any vehicle, including clunkers, can make the trip down from Manhattan to Washington D.C. in just a few hours in gridlocked end-of-the-world type traffic

TerrorFirmer

LOL this makes it sound like a wacky comedy

Zulu

Bravo. Bravo.

Miguel_Sanchez

MobileInfantry wrote:

LOL this makes it sound like a wacky comedy

But I thought.....

sutty

You forgot that an alien race that have prefected space travel, can be taken down by a virus....

maybe the aliens should have used linux? :rolleyes:

TerrorFirmer

You forgot that an alien race that have prefected space travel, can be taken down by a virus....maybe this should have used linux?

Should have used Norton!

mycroft

This was really funny.......




































in 1996.

Please share any other OJ Simpson, X-Files, and You know you're the 90s when.....jokes, that you may have.

Retr0gamer

I had a friend who was convinced it was based on a true story. What a tard. I'll never let him live that one down.

garred

sutty wrote:

You forgot that an alien race that have prefected space travel, can be taken down by a virus....

maybe the aliens should have used linux? :rolleyes:

Yeah reckon it was a Microsoft craft, obviously did'nt keep up with the service packs!

Capt'n Midnight

garred wrote:

Yeah reckon it was a Microsoft craft, obviously did'nt keep up with the service packs!

couldn't be , they were able to interface it with a Mac on the first attempt !

TerrorFirmer

couldn't be , they were able to interface it with a Mac on the first attempt !

Maybe the core of the entire spaceship was a mac G5?

Or perhaps they were using maybe MS-DOS without win support

Buck Owens

NERDS!!!!

That's Gas, I haved seen ID4 in years, I'd love to see it now, Most of that went over my 12 year old head when I first saw it. I