Church Bloopers

stu_69

These "BLOOPERS" were taken from real church bulletins:

1-Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
2-Thursday night-potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3-Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4-For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5-The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Beltzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Beltzer.
6-This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7-Thursday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8-Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.


More Church Bloopers:
1...Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the "little mothers" club. All ladies wishing to become little mothers will meet with the pastor in his study.
2...This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
3...Next Sunday a collection will be taken for the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and do so.
4...The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday...
5...A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
6...At the evening service the sermon will be "What is Hell?". Come early and listen to the choir practice.
7...On a sign outside a church.....Learn what Hell is. Be sure to come hear our new pianist.
8...The service will end with "Little drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Victor

I used to do a Church newsletter unfortunately a piece of scripture "... God's love ..." got mis-typed as "... God's lover ...". Praise the Lord, that proof reading was invented.

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Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.