Surprise

dannyd20

WARNING: If you are scrap or gladiator, don't read on because you've seen it before/don't find it funny/read it in a mag for 13 yr old girls etc.
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Once upon a time there lived a women who had a maddening passion for baked

beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very

embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on her.



Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that

they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle

man, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme

sacrifice and gave up beans.



Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she

lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be

late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and

the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still

had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by

the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she

knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.



All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt

reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see

her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner

tonight."



He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated

herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,

the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until

he returned. He then went to answer the phone.



The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure

was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room

she seized the opportunity, shifted here weight to one leg and let it go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertiliser truck running over

a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the

air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped

three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears tuned

to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another

ten minutes. When the phone farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she

fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and

folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was a

picture of innocence when her husband returned.



Apologising for taking so long on the phone, he asked her if she peeked,

and she assured him that she had not.



At this point, he removed the blindfold !!!!"S U R P R I S E”!!!!



There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a

Happy Birthday!!!!

Pugsley

ROFL,PLYD

sk_LURCH

ROFLMAO pld

Gladiator

didnt i reed this before

smoke.me.a.kipper

haha, great stuff!!

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OFFICAL DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this post are not necessarily the views expressed by SANE people. We accept no responsibility for any contamination caused to your bodily fluids due to reading this post. We ask patrons to please keep their feet visible at all times and their left hand raised in the air, for their own safety. Remember we're extremists with miniature guitars...

Victor

Ouch!!!

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Kill, kill, kill the laser mice.

[Preacher]

Classic

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- [Preacher]