make ur own jerry springer show!

azezil · 30-08-2001 2:40pm #1

copy n paste this into note pad then save it as a html file...
<html>
<LINK REL=STYLESHEET HREF="" TYPE="text/css">
<head>
<META http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
<LINK rel=stylesheet href="shrine.css" type="text/css">
<title>The Shrine of Insanity Presents...Springer!!!</title>
</head>

<body bgcolor="#000000" text="red">
<script language="JavaScript">
var name; //Your name
var weapon; //Weapon
var friend;//Friend of the Same Sex
var ofriend;//Friend of the Opposite Sex
var place;//Place
var enemy;//Enemy
var ofriend2;//Friend of the Opposite Sex #2
var tvshow;//Television Show
var furniture;//Furniture Item
var number;//Number

name=prompt("Please enter your name:","");
weapon=prompt("Please enter a type of weapon:","");
friend=prompt("Please enter the name of a friend of the SAME sex:","");
ofriend=prompt("Please enter the name of a friend of the OPPOSITE sex:","");
place=prompt("Please enter the name of a place:","");
enemy=prompt("Please enter the name of another friend of EITHER sex:","");
ofriend2=prompt("Please enter the name of another friend of the OPPOSITE sex:","");
tvshow=prompt("Please enter the name of a television show:","");
furniture=prompt("Please enter the name of a piece of furniture","");
number=prompt("Please enter a number","");

document.write("Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! ");

document.write("JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! "+name+" is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his "+friend+". So everyone please put your hands together for "+name+"! ");

document.write("Jerry: Okay, now "+name+" you're here to talk about someone aren't you? ");

document.write("You: Yes. ");

document.write("Jerry: And what is this other persons name? ");

document.write("You: "+ofriend+". ");

document.write("The crowd SQUEALS with delight. ");

document.write("Jerry: Okay, okay, well "+ofriend+", is actually here tonight - ");

document.write("The crowd SQUEALS. ");

document.write("Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you "+name+", because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... "+enemy+"! ");

document.write("You: What the HELL!!! ");

document.write("Out of nowhere you pull out a "+weapon+". "+enemy+" reaches for the "+furniture+". Out of the shadows "+ofriend2+" appears. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": Wait everybody wait! ");

document.write("Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here "+enemy+". ");

document.write(enemy+": Because I saw "+name+" and "+ofriend2+" making out at "+place+"! ");

document.write("The crowd goes absolutely INSANE. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": That's a lie! I was home watching "+tvshow+"! ");

document.write("Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem "+enemy+"? ");

document.write(enemy+": Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with "+friend+" who has recently become engaged to "+ofriend2+". ");

document.write("The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement. ");

document.write("Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring "+friend+" out here because "+name+" had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... "+ofriend+" that's right! ");

document.write(friend+": (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with "+ofriend+"! You know I'm how I feel about "+ofriend+"!. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with "+ofriend+"! ");

document.write(friend+": Because I knew that I could never have "+ofriend+". But "+name+" promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings! ");

document.write(ofriend2+": What about respect for MY feelings! ");

document.write(enemy+" walks suddenly across the stage, embracing "+friend+". ");

document.write(enemy+": Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me. ");

document.write("Again the crowd SQUEALS. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": Oh my God! Are you SICK! ");

document.write(ofriend2+" runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": "+name+" take me away from all of this! ");

document.write("You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married... ");

document.write("The crowd does its bit. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": Married? ");

document.write("You nod. ");

document.write(ofriend2+": Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand! ");

document.write("You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to "+ofriend+". ");

document.write(friend+": (screaming) WHAT!!! ");

document.write("Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night? ");

document.write(ofriend+": (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex "+number+" times if that's what you mean. ");

document.write("The crowd squeals. ");

document.write("Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... "+name+" is married to "+ofriend+" who "+friend+" has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now "+friend+" has recently become engaged to "+ofriend2+" who was recently spotted kissing "+name+" in the "+place+". Now on top of this "+enemy+" has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with "+friend+". ");

document.write(ofriend+": That's right Jerry. ");

document.write("Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight. ");

document.write("Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.");

</script>
</body>
</html>

"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

Pugsley · 30-08-2001 6:00pm

It might b funny but i cant b bothered

Spunog UIE · 30-08-2001 10:01pm

Not bad

heres a LINK LINK to it, just copied it excatly and put it up as a webpage.

Gideon.

[Preacher] · 30-08-2001 10:09pm

rofl

- [Preacher]

Chef Tony is god.

frood4t2 · 05-09-2001 2:48am

That made my day, considering the people who i put in..

mmm, loving!

frood4t2

frood4t2
3stooges@mags.net

strat · 07-09-2001 12:23am

donesnt like i can do this in work ill try at home

DrunkLeprachaun · 07-09-2001 11:42pm

Funny with the right people.

If there's one thing I hate, it's people.

chernobyl · 08-09-2001 12:15am

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! buck is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his bud. So everyone please put your hands together for buck!
Jerry: Okay, now buck you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: sherry.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well sherry, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you buck, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... minny!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a sickle. minny reaches for the gun. Out of the shadows esther appears.
esther: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here minny.
minny: Because I saw buck and esther making out at bing bong trailer park!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
esther: That's a lie! I was home watching kill your "friends"!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem minny?
minny: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with bud who has recently become engaged to esther.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring bud out here because buck had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... sherry that's right!
bud: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with sherry! You know I'm how I feel about sherry!.
esther: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with sherry!
bud: Because I knew that I could never have sherry. But buck promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
esther: What about respect for MY feelings!
minny walks suddenly across the stage, embracing bud.
minny: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
esther: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
esther runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
esther: buck take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
esther: Married?
You nod.
esther: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to sherry.
bud: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
sherry: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 4 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... buck is married to sherry who bud has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now bud has recently become engaged to esther who was recently spotted kissing buck in the bing bong trailer park. Now on top of this minny has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with bud.
sherry: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

Ashley Lyn

Ashley Lyn Cafagna

Wolf · 08-09-2001 7:08am

Forget that checkout who i put in LOLOLOL

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! David Ike is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Max Payne. So everyone please put your hands together for David Ike!
Jerry: Okay, now David Ike you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: The Queen.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well The Queen, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you David Ike, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Jerry adams!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Hugh Flaming Turd. Jerry adams reaches for the Divan. Out of the shadows Mo Molan appears.
Mo Molan: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Jerry adams.
Jerry adams: Because I saw David Ike and Mo Molan making out at The liffy!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Mo Molan: That's a lie! I was home watching Rainbow!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Jerry adams?
Jerry adams: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Max Payne who has recently become engaged to Mo Molan.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Max Payne out here because David Ike had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... The Queen that's right!
Max Payne: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with The Queen! You know I'm how I feel about The Queen!.
Mo Molan: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with The Queen!
Max Payne: Because I knew that I could never have The Queen. But David Ike promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Mo Molan: What about respect for MY feelings!
Jerry adams walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Max Payne.
Jerry adams: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Mo Molan: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Mo Molan runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Mo Molan: David Ike take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Mo Molan: Married?
You nod.
Mo Molan: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to The Queen.
Max Payne: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
The Queen: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 3000 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... David Ike is married to The Queen who Max Payne has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Max Payne has recently become engaged to Mo Molan who was recently spotted kissing David Ike in the The liffy. Now on top of this Jerry adams has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Max Payne.
The Queen: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

hehe quite i ammusing i think ul fnid

Balfa · 08-09-2001 11:01am

well.
i'm sure this is gonna be a really amusing thread if everyone starts posting their results :P

Shiminay · 08-09-2001 4:15pm

Actually folks, this'll get a bit out of hand if everyone does indeed post their results, so as a favour I'll ask you not to - cheers.

[Renegade] · 08-09-2001 7:31pm

Well I can say its made my day any brighter , seen as though I has a good day, but nice all the same

make ur own jerry springer show!

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