dirty jokes!

The Bollox

ok I'll get the ball rolling

whats the difference between a clver dwarf and a venereal disease?

one's a cunning runt, the others a .......

EKRIUQ

Dirty Joke,



Mud!!!

KTRIC

What do you call a Prostitute with a runny nose ?


Full.

The Bollox

keep 'em coming!

mad m

Waht do you call a Russian Prostitute?

Getonyourbackyoubitch!

BlitzKrieg

mad m wrote:

Waht do you call a Russian Prostitute?

Getonyourbackyoubitch!

and what do you call a serbian one?


slobberonmycockyoubitch.

joseph brand

<snip>

Banned for that one

RuggieBear

<snip>

Banned for that one

*hint - don't quote stuff that gets other people banned, coz you'll get banned too

joseph brand

Two gay blokes walking down the road.

One says to the other, "Isn't it lovely out?"

The other replies, "Yes, but can you put it away now".

The Bollox

a jogger was running naked in the park, he passed three old ladies, two had a stroke, the third couldn't quite reach! :eek:

Chinafoot

Q. why do women find it hard to píss in the mornings?

A. well, have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled-cheese sandwich?????

Sherifu

A gay says to his partner "You make my whole day!"
His partner replies "You make my hole weak."

The Bollox

this dude was obese, and he wanted to do something about it, but nothing worked so one day he was down in the pub with his friends and the friends told him about a new program that was setup recently, it was supposed to be very good. So the dude had a think and decided he might as well give it a shot, so when he got home he rang the number the friends gave him and a woman answered the phone, he gave all his personal details and his credit card details. the woman asked him which cource he would like to try and he said he would go with the easiest one.

so the next morning there was a knock at his door and when the dude opened the door a woman was standing there, naked except for a pair of running shoes, she said "if you catch me, you can have your way with me" and she sprinted sown the road, so the guy ran after her and eventually he caught her, took her home and let the good times roll, he kept up the routine for about a fortnight and he noticed himself getting a LOT thinner, so he got back onto the company and said he would like to try a more advanced cource, so the following day there was a knock on the door and an even sexier, more toned woman was standing there naked except for the shoes and it was the same story, except this chick was faster, but he caugh up with her and the rewards were a lot better and he lost even more weight.

so he kept this up for a fortnight and then got back to the company once again and said he would like to go for the most advanced class they have, so the following morning he was waiting in his kitchen, very excited when a knock came to the door, he jumped up and ran to the door, opened it and saw a very muscilly man standing there in nothing but running shoes and he said "if I catch you, you're mine!"

TerrorFirmer

HaHa, thats a good one.

What did the dwarf get when he ran through the womans legs? A clit around the ear and a flap across the face.

NotMe

Marts wrote:

this dude was obese, and he wanted to do something about it, but nothing worked so one day he was down in the pub with his friends and the friends told him about a new program that was setup recently, it was supposed to be very good. So the dude had a think and decided he might as well give it a shot, so when he got home he rang the number the friends gave him and a woman answered the phone, he gave all his personal details and his credit card details. the woman asked him which cource he would like to try and he said he would go with the easiest one.

so the next morning there was a knock at his door and when the dude opened the door a woman was standing there, naked except for a pair of running shoes, she said "if you catch me, you can have your way with me" and she sprinted sown the road, so the guy ran after her and eventually he caught her, took her home and let the good times roll, he kept up the routine for about a fortnight and he noticed himself getting a LOT thinner, so he got back onto the company and said he would like to try a more advanced cource, so the following day there was a knock on the door and an even sexier, more toned woman was standing there naked except for the shoes and it was the same story, except this chick was faster, but he caugh up with her and the rewards were a lot better and he lost even more weight.

so he kept this up for a fortnight and then got back to the company once again and said he would like to go for the most advanced class they have, so the following morning he was waiting in his kitchen, very excited when a knock came to the door, he jumped up and ran to the door, opened it and saw a very muscilly man standing there in nothing but running shoes and he said "if I catch you, you're mine!"

okidoki987

Class!

Sangre

Marts wrote:

keep 'em coming!

Hee hee

pwd

<snip>

banned for that one

Tiersal

Women think they're so clever faking orgasms,
A man can fake a whole relationship for a ride!

RuggieBear

Tiersal wrote:

Women think they're so clever faking orgasms,
A man can fake a whole relationship for a ride!

that's not a joke.....

Tiersal

RuggieBear wrote:

that's not a joke.....

Made me laugh!! :cool:

evillive

mad m wrote:

Waht do you call a Russian Prostitute?

Getonyourbackyoubitch!

or mila knickersonanov

and some old ones

a greek virgin - titus ****us
an african virgin - cunty gedinta

the scottish gay couple - ben doon and phil mccrevice
the irish lesbian couple - eileen over and ulick magee
the irish gay couple - patrick fitzmaurice and maurice fitzpatrick

mad m

<snip>

Banned for that

TerrorFirmer

Sick but kinda funny.... :eek:

Pauly26

There sick, kinda wished i never clicked on to the tread 4yr olds and bingo making my stomack turn

BioHazRd

ffs guys - this is way out of hand. Im locking this now, and im gonna ban every single one of you who went over the line. You do realise that young people look at this board too (and I do mean young). A little bit of cop-on goes a long way.

Bio