Earthquake In Tallaght!!!

The Fitz

RTE NEWS FLASH


A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale has hit Tallaght in
the early hours of Tuesday 2nd December 2003.



Epicentre: The Square Shopping Centre.



Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "...bleedin story?","
aaaaawrigh' bud" and "fUUUcksake".



The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately ^30 worth of damage.



Several priceless collections of mementos from Crete and Santa Ponza were
damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were
disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheque arrived. The
Tallaght News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage had
not been caused by illegal means.



One resident - Alexis Crystal Duffy, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "Ih was
such a ****in' shock, me little wan Chardonnay Mercedes cem runnin' into me
bedruem cryin'. Me youngisst two: Tyler-Morgan n Megan-Brooklyn slept tru ih
all. Buh I was still shakin' when I was watchin' ****in'Rikki Lake leh-er in
the ****in' mornin"

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on as
usual.



The Irish Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Strongbow,
Dutch Gold, frozen pizza and John Player Blue to the area to help the
stricken locals.



Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
quantities of personal belongings, which include welfare books,jewellery
including thousands of sovereign rings, many large medallions and Hash leaf
ear rings from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and fine Bone China from Tommy's
Wonderland of Value.



HOW CAN YOU HELP

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those
unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster.



Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:

* Fila or Kappa baseball caps,

* Hoodies (any type)

* Tommy Hilfiger tracksuits (his and hers)

* Nike/Adidas Shell suits (female)

* White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in
TK Maxx.

* Anything from Magic or Unique Boutique.



Food parcels may be harder to come by, as refrigeration may be a problem,
but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

* McCains oven chips

* Heinz baked beans

* Goodfellas Frozen Pizza

* Coke/Fanta

* Strongbow Cider

* Smirnoff Ice.

* John Player Blue 15's. (unmarried mother handy pack)



And remember that your contribution counts!

Just 22c buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms and bookie slips.

Just EUR5.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.

Only EUR6.00 will pay for a packet of 20 Major to calm the nerves of those
affected.



Note: Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of such plush
accommodation is unfair on the population of the local halting sites.

*adele*

lol

-oRnein9-

That got a laugh out of me inallinanyways man.

The Fitz

tis good ****

StupidLikeAFox

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on as
usual.

haha

jd

Just wondering why do skangers, and only skangers , smoke John Player Blues?

Are you not a real skanger if you smoke something else?
jd

BioHazRd

I've a little tip for ya - next time you are gonna cut and paste an email, please remove all the details. We dont need to know the name, address, phone, fax, or mobile number of the person who originally sent it to you. And they may not be too impressed when someone uses their details, for a little "fun"

Bio

Tobias Greeshman

Nice one, lol!

Shabadu

ColHol wrote:

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on as usual.

roffle

Clover

lmao @ that

The Fitz

it wasn't a real number, it was part of the joke, jeeesh, some people.

kenny

What was the number?
1800-KNACKER or something?

Nidge

I'm surprised that there isn't some sort of back lash with a post like this, does this mean there isn't a single person from tallaght on boards?

Suaimhneach

Anybody from Tallaght who uses the internet isn't a knacker, and if they have any sense of humour will enjoy it.

I am and I did.

shelsfan

Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheque arrived

Chardonnay Mercedes

Brilliant!

the_syco

Good, but...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=234453
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=136719
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=136859

... it's been done before.

Crania

Class man, lol

Guy:Incognito

Jesjes wrote:

Anybody from Tallaght who uses the internet isn't a knacker, and if they have any sense of humour will enjoy it.

I am and I did.

Plus, as far as I remember, that was the first thing ever posted when the internet was on 1 guys computer 20 years ago.