Hellen Keller

carpocrates

Hellen Keller Jokes
Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!

Q: How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
A: Trying to read a stucco wall.

Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A: Corduroy.

Q: Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
A: She was bobbing for french fries.

Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.

Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They left the plunger in.

Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: she needs the other to moan with.

Q: How did she burn her fingers?
A: Reading the waffle iron

Q: What did she do when she fell down the well?
A: Screamed her fingers off

Q: How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A: She was wearing mittens

Q: Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A: So you can read her lips

Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A: You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

Q: Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A: Wind it up and it walks into walls.


Q: What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A: Helen Keller moaning

Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.

Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
1. Rearranged the furniture
2. Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
3. Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
4. Washed her hands with soap
5. Gave her bird-seed to read.

Zombienosh

They might be funny....... if I knew who Hellen Keller was... :rolleyes:

Tobias Greeshman

She was a blind, deaf and dumb person. She completely changed how these type of people deal with living life. Also you know that raised paper blind people use for reading, I think she had something to do with that. Oh ya and she's dead now!

Goodshape

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller/

carpocrates

trust_no_one wrote:

She was a blind, deaf and dumb person. She completely changed how these type of people deal with living life. Also you know that raised paper blind people use for reading, I think she had something to do with that. Oh ya and she's dead now!

way to kill the joke man, now i'm all guilty.

Zombienosh

carpocrates wrote:

way to kill the joke man, now i'm all guilty.

LMFAO!!

landser

trust_no_one wrote:

She was a blind, deaf and dumb person. She completely changed how these type of people deal with living life. Also you know that raised paper blind people use for reading, I think she had something to do with that.

Raised up paper???

I think you mean braille, as invented by Louis Braille... jaysus, i ask ya!

Shabadu

carpocrates wrote:

Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.

Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.

She was deaf! The rest are hilarious though.

modular

How did Helen Keller lose her hands?
She tried to check if she was speeding.

dinjo

it might have helped if i knew who helen keller was....




Why did stevie wonder stop writing songs?

He droped his pen...

Blub2k4

trust_no_one wrote:

Also you know that raised paper blind people use for reading, I think she had something to do with that.

This is funnier than the old/tired/American/70s joke by the original poster.

What she had to do with Braille was that she used it to read.

Lafortezza

carpocrates wrote:

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They left the plunger in.

That's some funny shít right there!

kmart6

How can people laugh at a person like that's expense

Goodshape

kmart6 wrote:

How can people laugh at a person like that's expense

How :
"Under certain conditions, our bodies perform what the Encyclopedia Britannica describes as "rhythmic, vocalized, expiratory and involuntary actions" -- better known as laughter. Fifteen facial muscles contract and stimulation of the zygomatic major muscle (the main lifting mechanism of your upper lip) occurs. Meanwhile, the respiratory system is upset by the epiglottis half-closing the larynx, so that air intake occurs irregularly, making you gasp. In extreme circumstances, the tear ducts are activated, so that while the mouth is opening and closing and the struggle for oxygen intake continues, the face becomes moist and often red (or purple). The noises that usually accompany this bizarre behavior range from sedate giggles to boisterous guffaws."

(from here)

Why :
"There are three different theories for what people find humorous. The incongruity theory is when people's logical expectations don't match up with the end of the situation or the joke. The relief theory is when tension is built up and we need a release of emotion; this is commonly seen in movies in what we refer to as 'comic relief'. The relief theory also takes into account laughing at forbidden thoughts. The third is called superiority theory, when we laugh at someone else's mistakes because we feel superior to them. While what people find humorous can be divided into these three generic categories, many factors affect a person's sense of humor, which is why we don't all laugh at the same things."

(from here)



TBH.

That is all.